A Man and His Child
by shawnalovestodream
Summary: Eleven years ago Snape regretted spending the night with a woman he thought he loved. He thought nothing of it,and hadn't until he learns more about one of his first year students, and wonders, could she possibly be his own daughter?
1. Chapter 1: Just Another Year

**A Man and His Child**

**Well this is the story! Haha, hope you enjoy! It's a bit dry in the first chapter, but I promise it will get better! **

**Serverus Snape staggered into the great hall minutes before the opening feast. His eyes tired, but he wore his normal scowl. Perhaps this was his way of telling those around him to leave him be, as he preferred it. His greasy, pin straight black hair slid down to his broad shoulders in a silky line. He covered his entire being with black fabrics that twisted around him grimly. **

'**Serverus." Dumbledore smiled gently, as a warm welcome back to Hogwarts. **

**He managed to twist his lips carelessly. Hogwarts to him was a mere addition to his hopelessly lost life. He couldn't remember the last he truly felt happy, though he was sure it was sometime with Lily. Alas, those times were years ago, long faded away into the deepest pits of his memories. **

**Students tumbled into the great hall to Serverus' great annoyance. The soothing silence was murdered brutally by what he viewed as nuisances. **

"**Dunderheads." He muttered to himself as the Gryffindors took there habitual spot in the center of the great hall. **

"**Arrogant little buggers." He shot again, this time attracting the attention of Professor Sprout, who unfortunately sat beside him. **

**She rolled her eyes, but paid no attention to his insolence, as she, like many other professors, had grown accustomed to it. She was more interested in the new first years nervously wondering into the great halls, as Serverus. To him, this was his favorite part. He would get a look at his new students who needed to be "broken in". **

**They deeply took in the new surroundings, devouring the astonishing scenery that laid before them, for it was unlike anything they had obviously ever seen. What seemed like millions of voices crowded the air, silently suffocating Serverus' already low patience.****Dumbledore, the beloved headmaster rose to his podium to speak. All grew quiet, and Dumbledore's raspy, aged voice echoed through the hall. It was filled with excitement, and happiness.**

"**Welcome back for another year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It is my honor, as well as a pleasure, to go about the school year beside each and everyone of you. To watch you grow, as your magical ability increases, as well as your desire to learn. It warms my heart to be in a room filled with each and everyone of you whom I have met in the past, and those who I meet now. Will all first years please step forward so we may sort you into one of our four houses, Gryffindoor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw," His voice chimed through the walls for the great hall. **

**It seemed the only man he had respect for here was indeed Dumbledore. Though the personalities of the two differed greatly, he could not help but look to Dumbledore as a great man, with qualities he wised he had. Such as loyalty, and the knowledge of what was right, and the desire to do what was right. Serverus seemed to take hits to his self esteem and continued to drown out the mutter of those who stood before him. He searched deeply into his poisoned memories to think of Lily, and a moment they had shared together. He needed to push out the negativity that so often swept through his well used mind.**

**Her fierce red hair contrasted with the set of white teeth she hid under her rosy pink lips, which he desired to brush against his. Serverus at this time was a young lad, barely at the age of thirteen. His heart beat a little faster with every elegant step she danced towards him. The freshly fallen snow hit her gently, and the moonlight illuminated her radiant green eyes, which he greedily thought was just focused on him. Her cheeks stained scarlet as the night grew colder, only matching the hair Serverus wished he could reach out and stroke. He had never known such a warmth that Lily provided him from the moment her laid his dark eyes on her. She seemed to be flawless, and he would admit quite easily the most important person in his life. **

**He stopped himself, any more of this pointless reminiscing only brought him pain for later on. He focused on the array of various foods on his white plate, colorfully lighting the blankness. He brought his golden goblet to his lips, which he had poured fire whiskey into. He already knew he was in for a long, sleepless night of agony and despair. By the time he had lost his train of thoughts, the last of the first years was sluggishly moving her way onto the stool. She had black hair, much like his own, though it shined from a fresh wash, and looked much more lively. Her face read a mixture of things. From what he could read, he noticed the obvious fear, but nervousness and doubt, in herself. He remembered back onto the first day of his first year, and how he had felt the same thing. **

**He brushed it off his mind, this obviously was what all first years thought waltzing up to that wretched stool. He would pay no attention to her any more than the other twerps he was forced to teach, for she was just a face in the crowd. **

"**What a good mind you have, the best I've seen in a quite a while." The sorting hat hummed in an impressed tone. "A desire to prove yourself, very nice…" he muttered to himself, his voice trailing off. **

"**You most certainly belong in the house of your father, Slytherin. Though you are not a thief, and you do not have bad intentions, you are cunning, and smart, and _very_ clever. You would not fit in with Ravenclaws, and you are not ordinary enough to be a Hufflepuff. Gryffindor would not know how to harness such a talent as yours!" He chimed, letting her go. **

**Serverus glanced back at the black haired little girl, what was so special about her? Surely, she couldn't have been any smarter than the rest of the bunch. He wouldn't lie, he was absolutely pleased she was in the Slytherin house, just because it was the **_**best**_** house. She was lucky to be placed in the greatest house in all of history. He smiled smugly as she shook the hand of the Prefect of the Slytherin house, and sat down next to a fourth year Goyle, who forked his third serving of food down with his bare hands. You could see the revolt seeping through her eyes, but she kept calm. **

"**You, Sprout," He demanded the attention of the witch sitting next to him. "What was that girl's name?" He asked curiously, hoping this had not come across as though he was interested. **

**Sprout paid no interest to it, "Shawna Zemphoria." **

**He looked away from her, and tilted his head towards the students who were starting to finish the food they had hauled onto the plates. A flood of relief poured through Serverus' old bones. Finally, they poured out the doorway from which they came. As for Serverus Snape, he went back to his dungeons to sleep. **


	2. Chapter 2: I Like Him

Sorry it's been a while, and the story starts out a bit slow, but it get's better, I promise!:] Hope you enjoy!

Shawna's POV

She awoke at the crack of dawn, perhaps due to the excitement rushing through her 11 year old veins. She ran her hand over her face to make sure what had just happened wasn't a simple dream or mere imagination. She could in fact feel the softness of her face, and a small smile appeared on her rosy lips. She was at Hogwarts, with people so similar to her. For once, just a hint of acceptance rushed through her bones, and what a feeling it was. She had never gotten along with the other children, the muggles. They were all so judgmental for such pathetic reasons. So she was a witch, that was something more brilliant then whatever they would become

She couldn't see the morning light due to the fact she was under the lake in her dormitory. She was in Slytherin, the best house according to the prefect. She knew it was early though, due to the fact none of her fellow Slytherin House members had awakened yet. She couldn't wait though, she quickly slipped on her robes, eager to see what this marvelous school was going to offer her. The cloak-like robe drifted down to about her ankles. She had a soft, grey sweater vest, over a pure white button down shirt. Black trousers accompanied by black dress shoes. Tucked in was her green and silver tie. She glanced down at the Slytherin crest embroidered there on the corner of her robe, a sense of pride flushed through her. She belonged to something, she was a part of something.

Realizing she was now alone, and ready, she pulled out a battered potions book. Scrawled throughout the pages were her notes she had been taking all summer. She had read this book cover to cover many times and it never ceased to fascinate her. So many interesting ingredients were mixed together to make such a simple liquid, how could you not be thrilled? None of the other subjects seemed to grab her interest as strongly as this one did, and she wondered if perhaps someone in her real family felt the same.

She was born on October 17, but she had never met either of her parents. She was soon adopted to an elderly witch and wizard, both lovely people. Her mind drifted to the sorting hat last night, it had mentioned her father was in Slytherin. She pondered deeply what this man was like, if she was at all like him. Perhaps he was a ministry worker, closely protecting the secret of the wizarding to the muggles. Or maybe he was a dueler, one of the best the world had seen. It didn't surprise her that she was in the house of her Father, at least she knew somewhat more about her parents then she did just a few hours ago.

Her deep fantasizing was interrupted by the door to the common room stairwell opening. It was her prefect, Matilda Hookners. A tall, scrawny girl with glasses at the brim of her nose. Her hair was a deep brown, hanging in her eyes. Her voice sounded somewhat similar to a mouse, but Shawna looked past this to find a very nice girl.

"Time to get up, my little first years!" She shouted, her high pitch voice shrilled into Shawna's ears. Matilda's lips twisted into a smile, "At least one of you is up and ready to go. Look, you're even studying! Professors will like you, yes they will!" Matilda shrilled, but her kind words caused a flood of scarlet to wash onto Shawna's very pale cheeks.

She nodded in appreciation, her shyness conquered her ability to express her gratitude in words. Matilda disappeared through the door, and the other first year girls were rising. Just three of them in this room, they all stretched from the long night's sleep. Shawna studied their faces, trying to remember the names. There was Jenny Holloway, she had white blonde hair, and very blue eyes. She was almost 12, and had the figure of a ballerina. Michelle Malice had black hair just like Shawna's with matching black eyes. Last but not least was the shortest of them all, Marie Malchowitz. With fiery red hair, and green eyes, she barely stood to Shawna's chin, even though she was a few months older than Shawna.

"Good morning everyone!" Shawna greeted, while scurrying out the door. Though the four girls were already good friends, Shawna was never good at continuing conversations. She thought perhaps it would be alright just to go to the great hall on her own, she could meet with the Slytherins for breakfast later.

She tucked her potions book into her arms as if it was a precious child, she had potions first today. She gently swayed down the stairs that lead into the common room, which was surprisingly full of the older girls and a few daring boys. The dozens of eyes drifted to Shawna, but smiles welcomed her readily. They seemed to be everywhere, scattered across the room. She returned the gesture without a word, but a small, almost undetectable curve of her lips. She spotted Matilda flirting with Draco Malfoy, who leaned coolly against the fireplace. His robe danced dangerously close to the fire, she wouldn't have been surprised if it had caught fire itself.

Matilda said goodbye to Draco, and walked over to her.

"Going to the Great Hall early today? Don't mind if I join, then?" She asked, her high tone once again tickling Shawna's ears.

"Not at all Matilda." She said, smiling enough that her dimples shined through her cheeks.

The two had walked through the dungeons, talking about Hogwarts and teachers. Shawna was proud for keeping the conversation going this long, it had been an unexpected surprise. Shawna often kept her head down when she walked, to stare at the two moving feet below. She kept talking, until she had run into a stone cold figure. Looking up, she saw the scowl of an older man, with black hair that curtained his face. His black eyes seemed to pierce through her immediately.

Snape's POV

He had run into her, this little girl. Barely up to his abdomen, she looked up slowly. Her very blue eyes gazed in a frightened manner up at him. Tucked away in her arms was a book.

"S-sorry sir." She muttered, looking back down.

He realized at once this had been the girl he had taken to much interest in last night. He had noticed the black hair like his own, except hers looked soft to the touch, and even shined in the dim lights. From what he had a glance at before she tilted her head down was a very innocent face. He wanted to smile, but he held it in. Emotion was a sign of weakness. He looked over to the Matilda girl, she looked as though she was holding her breath, waiting for him to yell.

"Professor Snape." She said quietly as a greeting.

The girl looked back up again, he remembered her name was Shawna.

"Be careful as to what you run into, especially your professors." He punctuated each word clearly, as he always had.

She nodded slightly, and clutched onto her book as though it was some sort of comfort to her.

"Give it here," He demanded, holding his outstretched hand towards her.

She immediately placed a tattered potions book into his hand, and at once he had a bit more respect then he had in the previous moments for this Shawna Zemphoria. He flipped through pages with notes scrawled in a very neat hand. Shawna had liked potions, therefore, he knew he would tolerate her due to the fact she had a good taste in subjects.

"Been reading all summer?" He asked, not taking his eyes of the helpful notes printed throughout the pages.

"Yes sir." She said, a slight smile danced onto her lips, but slowly faded away.

"Good." He muttered coldly, he handed her the book, and quickly, she and Matilda scuttled away.

He watched her, this Shawna Zemphoria. He hadn't seen many students who had actually read and _enjoyed _potion books over the summer in his many years of teaching. This pleased him, and he went on his merry way to the Slytherin common room, to fetch his house members, after all, he was the Head of House.

Shawna's POV

"He scares me, even after this many years at Hogwarts." Matilda muttered, as she looked behind her to make sure no one had been trailing behind.

"I like him." Shawna replied, a small smile decorated her lips as Matilda looked at her with a dumbfounded expression.


	3. Chapter 3: Potions

Shawna's POV

Breakfast was going well, though she had hardly eaten. Any time she spent in the Great Hall thrilled her. She had found herself constantly staring at the enchanted ceiling, which was a cloudy sky, signaling the rain that was soon coming. The what seemed like endless plates of food were now disintegrating as students continued to eat. The atmosphere in this school was invigorating, she was surrounded with people who were somehow like her. She wanted to befriend them all, despite the house difference.

Finally, students were starting to leave, she could feel the excitement jolt throughout her body. Her first class of Hogwarts was approaching, a combined Potions lesson with the Gryffindors. She would concoct some sort of potion, something she had been longing desperately. She felt a tap on her shoulder, it was her roommate, Jenny Holloway.

"I'm going to head down to the dungeons for Potions, want to come?" She asked, her white blond hair fell in front of her eyes as she spoke.

Shawna practically bounded out of her seat, "absolutely!"

She clutched her potions book as she walked side by side with Jenny, down the same corridors she had come up from just an hour or so ago.

The temperature seemed to drop with every footstep she took, but she didn't mind. She felt her heart beat faster and faster as she drew nearer to opening on the stone wall where her classroom laid. She could see the torches flickering from inside the classroom, and she stepped in. The class was hardly full to her surprise, but what struck even more was the teacher.

The man she had run into, the head of her house, Serverus Snape stood at the front of the room. His presence sent fear down her spine, as it had the first time. His lips were parted into a hard scowl, and his hands were grasped together behind his back. His entire body seemed to be covered in black fabrics, which matched his black hair and eyes. Though he brought an intimidating presence, she liked him to say the least. She enjoyed him, though she hardly knew him. To say the least, potions became a bit more enjoyable.

She met his icy stare, and took a seat in the back of the room because Jenny preferred to be in the back. Shawna was perfectly fine with it as she hated sitting with people she didn't know. It seemed like a reasonable compromise, though she longed to sit in the front. She let her eyes wander freely around the classroom. Bottled were various ingredients on the shelves of book cases. She recognized unicorn hair, boomslang skin, eye of newt, the what she assumed would be normal items to have handy. She could see a stone cold black cauldron bubbling with what looked like Blood-replenishing potion. Students started filling into the classroom, but none looked as thrilled as Shawna.

Snape's POV

They all toppled in, one by one. You could determine who belonged to Slytherin and Gryffindor easily. Those who looked like dunderheads were obviously Gryffindors. They seemed to segregate themselves on either side of the classroom, which pleased Snape immensely. Even new Slytherin members knew better than to associate with what Serverus viewed as the most useless house. They all seemed to chat freely, as Serverus watched, studying faces. He immediately noticed the black haired girl in the back, reviewing her potions book, and exchanging a few words with the pale girl she sat next to.

He smiled smugly as his eyes drifted to the stack of papers on his desk, a simple quiz of fifty questions. It was common knowledge, just a few questions so he could asses how low of a level he would be working with.

'Silence!" He hissed through a set of crooked teeth, causing several students to jump. All lips sealed to his pleasure, and he snatched the stack of parchment sitting innocently on his desk.

"This is a small assessment test for all of you. Simple questions, and it _will _be graded." He seethed, using his wand to disperse a paper on each students desk.

"_Small?_" A boy in the first row, Gryffindor nonetheless whispered to the boy he was sitting by. Serverus shot him an ice cold glare, causing him to seal his lips.

"If you have a problem with how I teach, feel free to take it up with me." Serverus spat, and all the Slytherins laughed slightly.

At last, each student had a piece of parchment on their desks, heads tilted down in utter concentration. Sweet silence filled the air, he wandered freely through the rows of desks. His lips twisted into an evil smile as he looked at the frustration of students. Brows were furrowed in a clueless manner, hands propped up heads as eyes scanned over the questions. He took his conventional spot in the very front of the classroom. He felt satisfied with this, though he knew what the majority of the students must have been thinking.

Moments ticked by slowly, pens scrawled hopeless answers to the questions he had prepared. Thirty minutes had passed, it seemed like no one had even turned the page, but one.

Shawna's POV

She flew her quill across the answers, her mind processed the questions with ease. These were very simple, just as professor Snape had explained. She recalled the majority of the answers were found in the very first chapter of her potions book. The rest seemed to be common sense, still it fascinated her. She found herself done within ten minutes, but she checked her answers over and over to assure her answers were flawless.

She peeked up at the wrong time, as Professor Snape was looking directly at her. Their eyes met, and she quickly looked down. She could hear the clicking off two feet drifting across the stone floor, with each beat she felt nervousness set it automatically. She could feel his presence above her, but she didn't dare meet his two eyes. She felt as though all eyes were on the two as he stood there. She straightened herself up, and attempted to hush her ragged breathing.

"Your paper, Miss Zemphoria," He muttered in a monotone voice. She slid it across the black table.

His empty eyes slid across her paper as he held it up to his face. He examined it carefully, reading each answer as though they were paragraphs long. He was looking for anything he could have marked wrong, though it was nowhere to be found. He pulled the quill from her hand, and scrawled a few words onto the yellowish paper, yet his face still remained blank.

He handed it back to her face down, and returned to the front of his classroom, she hesitantly flipped it over. She expected to see a zero, or a detention for cheating, but to her delight, it was the exact opposite.

In a messy hand, were three bold numbers, and a percent sign. Each seemed to speak to her as she read a 100% on the top of her paper by her name. She felt proud, and accomplished. She had excelled at something others were struggling at, perhaps she had a chance to really make something of herself here at Hogwarts. She imagined herself a potions teacher in the future, which caused a smile to dance onto her lips. She read the rest of his message.

"Exceptionally well, perhaps you are not meant to be in a first years class."

She took immediate glee, and her liking of Snape increased. This knew from that moment, this would be her favorite class, and he would be her favorite teacher.

"Class dismissed. You dunderheads didn't even finish." He muttered, as students flew from their seats, eager to leave.

She grinned brightly as she exited the classroom slowly, drifting in the doorway. She felt the need to thank him.

"Thank you, Professor Snape." She said calmly, and he looked up.

His black eyes stared at her momentarily, his eye brows furrowed with confusion. But he nodded, and she left to go catch up with Jenny, who was waiting half way down the corridor. She felt what seemed to be a very needed self confidence boost, and she couldn't help but skip to Jenny.


	4. Chapter 4: The Forgotten Book

Shawna's POV

So far, on this first day of studies, Hogwarts had been a refugee for her. She had enjoyed life before this, but now it was as though her life had improved drastically. She couldn't help but smile every time she entered a classroom, or saw a professor enchant her with a bit of magic. Though she knew this was simple to them, it still captivated her.

She was struggling a bit with different subjects, but she had enjoyed learning immensely from the profitable examples the professors presented. Magic was not effortless, but it could be done. She found keeping this in mind every time something difficult found her way to her helped ease her troubled mind. After potions, she had transfiguration.

The teacher, Professor McGonagall was an aged woman. She had her grayed brown hair in a fierce bun, and wore emerald robes, dusted with glittering specks. She had rather beady eyes set perfectly in place on a wrinkled face. She had heard this was the Gryffindor Head of House, and that she should automatically hate her. This was beyond Shawna's nature, and she wanted to befriend the professors, seeing as they were the ones who would be teaching her, and grading her assignments.

She found herself in an all Slytherins class, and she knew the Professor was probably not to pleased. After introducing herself, Professor McGonagall dispersed to each of them a small matchstick. Her mind set off, wondering what she could possibly do with something of this size. She found she was not the same student thinking this, as some boy with ruffled brown hair blurted from the back,

"What the bloody hell are we supposed to do with some microscopic piece of wood?"

McGonagall had sent him an icy glare, though the boy had a pleased smile on his face. Shawna could tell he was a spot of trouble, though she found his remark quite funny, as did many of the other snickering students.

"Dear boy, basics are essential to all forms of magic. Mister Blumsberg, I advise you don't speak out of term again, or the result will be a consequence. That goes for all of you, I do not tolerate any sort of foolery. Rules are set in stone, ready for you to obey them. Now, moving on from Mister Blumsberg's out of place comment…" She shot him a look once more, causing him, and a few of his rowdy friends to snigger.

"You will be transforming this matchstick in a needle." She ended, waving her long, elegant wand once, transforming the matchstick into a small, silver needle.

Though students had been waving their wands furiously, including Shawna, not many could transform their matchstick. She had attempted, and on her umpteenth try, half of her matchstick had colored silver, and it looked slick to the touch. She felt a sense of relief, as she wasn't completely hopeless. Jenny, who was sitting next to her, had no success, and looked greedily at the half needle sitting in front of Shawna.

"You want to do mine to?" Jenny joked merrily.

Shawna half-smiled, amused, and took slight hint pride with this comment

McGonagall hadn't hesitated on piling on homework, which included an essay. Everyone seemed to moan, unpleased with this. Shawna had wanted to partake in this, but she knew better than to. She was extremely unhappy with the fact her evening would be spent in the library looking up information for the two inches of parchment due next week. She was rather pleased to be leaving transfiguration, though it was interesting to watch, it was not at all simple.

She made her way to Charms, where a stumpy man was waiting at the door. She thought he was a student, when in fact it was Professor Flitwick. He had a balding head, and a pair of simple glasses that rested on an overly large nose, which took up a large portion of his squished face. She found once inside, she was combined with the Hufflepuffs. Taking a seat in the room, she found a feather laying in front of her. Once settled, Professor gave an example of how to make the feather levitate. He chanted "Wingardium Leviosa." And the feather drifted into the air, following the path set by his wand.

Eager to try, Shawna pulled her wand out in a flash.

"Wingardium Leviosa." She said quietly, and to her pleasure, the feather drifted up just a bit, she was getting somewhere.

Chanting once more, her and many other feathers on the Slytherin side of the room had floated gracefully into the air, to the teacher's delight. A smile erupted on Shawna's face, and she hoped all charms would be as easy as that had been. The classes drifted rather quickly, and she made her way to the last class of the day, History of Magic.

This seemed exciting, as she would learn a bit more about magic, but she was quickly mistake. The teacher, Professor Binns, was a ghost. He babbled straight out of the book, in a dreary, monotone voice. Shawna was lulled to sleep, as every other student in that class. She and Jenny had made a pact that each would have turns sleeping, and the other would take notes for the both of them. Happy to be rid of that class, the two skipped merrily back to the Great Hall for lunch.

Snape's POV

This bloody school and its idiotic students were just as it had been last year. All who saw him quickly changed their routes, or avoided eye contact and sped up in hopes of passing him quicker. It didn't bother him, though he wondered if it could have ever been different. Teaching had droned on, as he never seemed to have anyone who had a clue what they were doing in his classes, besides second years and up. He had a few explosions today, though he couldn't figure out why due to the fact he hadn't allowed any first years to use potions today, and anyone older should have been smart enough to not have something explode. The splotches from leaking potions decorated his black robes, angering him.

He staggered back to the Great Hall from the dungeons, and on his way up, he saw the two girls from his first potions class, Miss Zemphoria, and that Jenny girl. That bounced merrily as they turned into a different corridor, both having grins protruding on their faces. They chatted merrily, laughing at whatever comment the other made. He flashed back to when it was that way with Lily and him. His cold heart felt a tad warmer when he thought of Lily, but he flushed her out of his head quickly. He knew he couldn't bear the overwhelming choke of guilt that would result from thinking of her for to long.

He focused on the silk black hair that bounced in front of him, she somewhat intrigued him. She seemed very educated, and polite. A rare combination in first years, or anyone for that matter. She had a desire to learn, which he knew many saw in him his first year here. Perhaps he had finally found a student he would somewhat tolerate. He let himself drift into their conversation, while following close behind.

"Jenny, what's your favorite class so far?" Her voice was soft, and gentle, but oddly familiar.

"I liked History of Magic." She said sarcastically, both of them let out a chime of laughter. "Charms was alright, I suppose. What about you? I'm sure it was Potions."

Shawna chuckled nervously, "Yeah, good guess."

Snape took pleasure in this, knowing she enjoyed his class had given him a bit of pride. Not many liked his class, or even tolerated it for that matter.

"It's pretty obvious." Jenny muttered, and they were lost in the drowning of chatter coming from the Great Hall. He lost sight of them, and the annoyance of students fluttered around his head. Several pairs of eyes followed to him as he made his way to the teacher's table, and lips moved nervously. Obviously they were making some insult about his appearance, or ranting about something he did, but he honestly couldn't have cared less. Students, in his eyes, were nuisances, and their opinions wouldn't have mattered in any case. He took his spot at the table, next to Professor McGonagall today, ready to boast about the student he had seen just moments ago.

"I've got a Potions Prodigy in my class, what've you got?" He smiled smugly, taking a swig of Pumpkin Juice.

Shawna's POV

The night had set in, and she was finishing up a portion of her assignments for a few of her classes. She reached for her potions book to start her Potion's homework, when she had grasped thin air where her book should have been laying. She must have left it in her Potions class, which bothered her. She knew it was late, but she needed to get this started. She had asked a few of her friends to come with her to get it, but all of them declined, stating the teacher was rather frightening.

She grabbed a cloak to keep the nights air away from her, and set out through the darkened corridors. Her class wasn't to far, and the flames brightly burning on the sides lit the way. She focused on the end on the corridors, as the knight suit's scared her a bit. Her footsteps echoed through the corridors, a rhythmic beat entered her ears with every step.

She could see her classroom ahead, the fire burning brightly inside alerted her Professor Snape still was in there. She tentatively waited there at the doorway, debating in her head whether or not she wanted to go in. She felt shy, and awkward without others around her. In a rush of adrenaline, she entered.

She could see him hovering over a thick, black cauldron. A green mist wafted over the top, his eyes drifted to hers.

"What are you doing here? It's past curfew." He stated in a rather hard tone.

"I-I left my potion's book." She stuttered, his presence which normally brought her pleasure made her nervous. He looked rather annoyed, or angry. She had interrupted something he was doing, she would have been annoyed if she was in his place.

He picked up the battered potions book in one of his hands, signaling her to approach him. She slowly drifted closer to him, keeping her eyes on the ground. His presence was right in front of her, and he handed the book to her. It's torn edges felt familiar in her soft hands, sending relief throughout her.

She peeked up at the cauldron, it's green mist she had recognized, and she caught a small sight of the thick liquid. Shrinking Solution, a rather simple potion. Snape studied her carefully.

"Do you know what this is?" He asked, her voice a bit softer, curiosity hinted his tone.

"Shrinking Solution, I believe."

"Yes. it's made of?" He asked, testing her.

She thought for a moment, "Minced daisy roots, peeled Shrivelfig, sliced caterpillar, one rat spleen, and um, a bit of leech juice."

The look of pleasure was hidden well, though Shawna could see it, it made her smile.

"Not many people can actually state the ingredients. Well done. Now, off to bed." He muttered, motioning his hand to the doorway.

"Yes sir." She said quietly, starting her way to the doorway.

"Actually, Miss Zemphoria. Let me escort you back to the common room. The rather obnoxious poltergeist is probably roaming down here. If he sees you, he'll cause noise. The last thing I need is a whole Slytherin House roaming about."

Shawna hid her smile, as she heard his two feet clicking across the stone floor as they had this morning. His presence beside her calmed her, as the dark corridors weren't so frightening when an adult was beside you.

Snape's POV

She was rather tiny, and Serverus knew she would have been an effortless target for Peeves. She had walked beside him, trying to match his rather fast pace. The common room was close by, and it was his responsibility to make sure all Slytherin students were in bed. He should have given her detention, though he couldn't find the words to. She looked innocent, she just wanted her book, no doubt to finish the assignment he had given the class.

The common room door swung open when he chanted the password. She stepped in, and turned. Her blue eyes had intensified in the firelight, they seemed so familiar to him.

"Goodnight sir." She said quietly, a small curve of her lips.

He stared into her tired eyes, and nodded in reply.

Something about that pair of eyes, it struck within him. He had felt as though they were already emblazed into his memories before he had ever known of this Shawna Zemphoria. He brushed it aside, his tired mind must have been mistaken.


	5. Chapter 5: It Was Me

Snape's POV

He wanted to sleep desperately, but sleep had drifted far away from him. His mind wandered furiously, fixed around many things. His black eyes stuck up upon the ceiling he had bewitched to look at the night sky. He laid there in his room hidden away behind the bookcase in his classroom. The blankets wrapped around him comfortably, he thought about that pair of blue eyes he had stared into an hour or so ago.

Though he had tried to dismiss them from his thoughts, he couldn't. He knew them from some where, but how was it relevant? Perhaps he had taught her mother or father, it was a possibility that's how he knew the eyes so well. There had to be some simple reason he was missing. Finally, sleep flushed through his body, his tense muscles relaxed. His eyes shut, and the last thing he heard before he slept was a voice he hadn't heard in eleven years, but he was exhausted, and he thought nothing of it. He figured it was his over-tired mind.

Shawna's POV

The last two classes of the week had gone rather quickly, instead of slacking off like most of her friends, her and Jenny Holloway went to the library to get a head start on McGonagall's essay. Books sprawled across their private booth, they chatted under their breaths.

"How much do you want to bet McGonagall only gave the Slytherins an essay?" Jenny rolled her eyes, glancing around the rather empty room.

She had somewhat of a point. The room was practically deserted, except for a girl in the back with rather bushy, brown hair, Her eyes were focused deep on a book that was open in front of her small, brown eyes. Shawna could make out the burgundy lion emblazed proudly on her robes. She hadn't seen Shawna looking at her, though Shawna wondered who she was. She looked rather old, perhaps in her fourth or fifth year.

"Who is that?" Shawna asked, her tone drawing the attention of the girl. Her eyes drifted up nervously.

Jenny scoffed, "A filthy mud blood, that's who. Hermione Granger."

Hermione folded her book together, and paced out of the library, tears welling in her deep brown eyes. Shawna hadn't understood what Jenny had said, but it must have been rather hurtful.

"A what?" She asked, eyes furrowed in curiosity.

Jenny rolled her eyes, as if she were explaining something in her opinion that Shawna should have already known.

"A mud blood. You know, someone with non-magical parents? Dirtied blood. Her and all her little half-blood friends shouldn't be here…they don't deserve to be." Jenny spat, scrawling fiercely on her piece of parchment.

Shawna didn't understand what was so important about blood, and family history. Though she knew it was of great importance in Slytherin. She kept silent, as if she agreed, she knew Jenny would have never talked to her if she had said if shouldn't have mattered whether you were half-blood, or pure blood. She continued writing her essay, lost in the sentences of the books laid out, and the parchment scattered to and fro. The silence was suffocating her for what seemed like hours. Jenny finally spoke.

"You're a pure blood, aren't you?" She asked, peeking up, deep concern in her eyes.

Shawna looked up to meet her gaze, she honestly didn't know. She had no clue who her parents were, all she knew is her adoptive parents were both half-bloods. Shawna bit her lip, contemplating on what to say. She considered lying, though it wouldn't have done her any good.

"I-I don't know." She mumbled, toying with the latch on her robe. She hoped that would be the last of this conversation, but Jenny spoke once more.

"You don't know? How could you _not _know? Bloody hell, you're in Slytherin! Blood status is as important as air!" She blurted rather loudly, causing the librarian to glare with two cold eyes.

Shawna slammed her books shut, and stood up, anger rushing through her veins. The fact she didn't know who her parents were was already to painful to talk about, but this was to much. She didn't want to deal with this, and she would have none of it.

"I just, I don't!" She spat, gathering her things, storming out through the doorway, leaving Jenny with an confused expression.

She paced through the hallway, tears welling in her eyes much like Hermione's. Any who looked at her curiously quickly glanced away from the glare she shot out. She felt cold swarm around her, yet anger pierced throughout her body. She felt so alone, not knowing who had brought her into this world. She never truly had someone to go to for anything, her adoptive parents weren't hers. She wanted her family more than anything, and she wondered if they had wanted the same thing.

She locked herself in the dormitory, continuing her studies there. She had homework in every class, except flying lessons, which had gone rather well. Being on a broom was invigorating, thinking about it caused a small twitch of her lips though she had felt so rotten.

She was enveloped in her studies until Marie Malchowitz, her roommate, trampled through the door, laughing uncontrollably.

"You've got…to come…see…this!" She giggled mischievously, not able to speak clearly.

"Jenny is playing a prank on this Gryffindor first year, come on!" She waved her hand for Shawna to come.

Curiosity got the best of Shawna, and off they ran, out to the lawn in the back by the forbidden forest. Off towards the near the frigid lake, Shawna could see a group of students circling around something, and she could hear with chants of laughter, and anger. Squeezing through, she could see what all the ruckus was about.

Jenny stood proudly on her two feet with a sneer on her face, waving her wand as a small, freckled boy floated through the air, screaming for help. All the Slytherins laughed uncontrollably, while Gryffindors yelped for Jenny to let him go. No one had wanted to intervene, in fear of making the boy fall. Shawna found no amusement, as the freckled boy looked frightened beyond belief, and his wails made her feel bloody awful.

Jenny chuckled heartily, making him do flips, and bounce up and down. His feet were five feet away from the ground, and he struggled to get loose. Tears dripped out of his closed eyes, as he rose higher into the air, and dropped back down again, his feet brushing against the floor. A few daring Gryffindors had their wands grasped tightly, contemplating whether or not they would risk the chance of making the situation worse.

Shawna was mortified, and looked away towards the castle. What she saw was more than she had expected. In the distance, she could see a pale white face, with the majority of the figure covered in black robe with matching black trousers. Standing next to him was a matching pale face, but covered in the emerald robes that drifted towards the green grass. Professors McGonagall and Snape stood for a second, and began running down towards the scene. Shawna froze, but she wasn't the only who had seen them.

"Jenny! Snape, McGonagall!" Marie hissed, and at that split second many of the Slytherin crowd had took off sprinting in various directions to avoid being caught. Jenny smirked, and directed her wand towards the lake, where the boy collapsed into the ice cold waters below. Shawna still stood in shock, thoughts raced through her mind what would happen if she was caught. She wondered if she would be expelled, and tears starting welling in her eyes once more.

"Ugh, come _on!_" Jenny complained, grabbing Shawna's arm, tugging her along through the crowd of Gryffindors in the direction the Slytherin house members had ran.

Marie was tailing close behind, Shawna felt herself flying through the glass on her two feet, she did not want to be caught, at all. Her instincts kicked in and she began running on as fast as possible. She had sprinted back into her common room, and into the safety of her dormitory and picked up her school books as if she had never left. Her hands shook violently with the adrenaline and fear pulsing through her, as she wondered what was going to happen. One by one, each of her roommates toppled in, with the same look of fear on their faces.

Marie noticed the books in Shawna's hands, and she stopped dead in her tracks.

"Oh! Good idea!" She chimed, picking up her school books, curling up in the corner propped against the wall, she remained perfectly still, head burrowed in her book.

Each roommate took a position as if they had never left. Jenny laid in her bed, tossing a spark ball up and down, a smug grin wiped across her face. Michelle took an empty spot next to Marie, and pretended to copy off her notes. Shawna was the only one shaking, and Jenny noticed.

"Calm down, you didn't even do anything." She rolled her eyes, tossing the spark ball at her, which she failed to catch with her shaking hands.

Hours ticked by slowly and painfully. Shawna had a feeling emblazed deep within her, it was off pure discomfort She felt scared, nervous, guilty. All sorts of emotions rushed through her. The clock hanging on the wall chimed 8:30, they had all skipped dinner, they didn't want to be seen by any of the Gryffindors.

Time clicked on, and each of the girls relaxed, except for Shawna.

"I think I'm getting away with it. Good ol' Snape probably covered it up." Jenny grinned smugly, removing her sweater vest and white shirt, preparing herself for bed.

"Good one, Jenn. Never suspected it was you, I bet." Marie Grinned, standing out in the open in a pair of extremely short pajama bottoms.

Michelle Malice, laughed quietly, propping her feet up on her night stand as she leaned across her bed reading calmly. Shawna remained quiet, she didn't want to be a part of it. She felt an awful feeling in the pit of her chest that something very bad was going to happen.

"That was hilarious, I mean, did you see that kid's face?" Jenny prided herself, reenacting the entire scene leaving them all but Shawna laughing. She bounced around the center of the room, waving her wand, while Marie hopped up, wailing sarcastically, begging for her to stop.

They snorted in giggles, and then the door busted open, revealing a man cloaked in black. They all screamed, as they saw Professor Snape standing there, a furious scowl depicted on his chalk white face.

"Professor Snape, this is the _girls _dormitory!" Marie shrieked, covering her exposed legs, Jenny doing the same with her bare shoulders. She was lucky she had her tank top on underneath.

"Which one of you is responsible for the little show that was pulled today?" He spat, his eyes traveling into each of the girls.

"I will not tolerate such behavior from _my _house!" He hissed, "Now, which-one-of-you-did-it? His nostrils flared like a wild boar.

No one said a word, Shawna cowered in fear, and stared at Jenny, who was obviously not going to admit she had committed the prank. Shawna's heart seemed to skip beats, and her throat ran dry. Her heart ached, consequences were on the horizon. For once, she saw Jenny let tears fall on her cheeks, and she contemplated what she could do to help.

"It was me, Professor Snape." Shawna said quietly, avoiding eye contact.

His face twisted into a blank expression, and he spoke.

"Very well, Miss Zemphoria. You're week of detentions will be served with me in the dungeons cleaning out cauldrons _without _magic. You will be arriving tonight in exactly a half an hour, if you are late, there will be consequences." He spat, leaving as quickly as he came.

It was very quiet for a few moments, until Jenny spoke softly.

"Thank you, Shawna. I really owe you. If there's anything I can do…" She said, walking over slightly.

"You don't need to, it's alright." Shawna replied blankly, did she really just do that?

What did Professor Snape think of her now? She was sure McGonagall would hear about this, that would be two teachers that would most likely have a low liking of her. Who knew how many teachers they would tell, she had trouble swallowing.

Snape's POV

Her eyes were fixed on the ground next to him, her lips parted uncomfortably. She opened them to speak, and paused for a moment, contemplating whether or not to say anything. Her knuckles turned white as she grasped the sheet of her blanket, and finally her voice echoed softly.

"It was me, Professor Snape." Her eyes drifted farther away, though he could see the innocence as clearly as he could see the guilt in his own. He knew it wasn't her, and he knew it very well. He wouldn't say anything to her until she was at detention, lying did deserve it's own consequences, though not as severe as whoever actually committed the prank.

"Very well, Miss Zemphoria. You're week of detentions will be served with me in the dungeons cleaning out cauldrons _without magic_. You will be arriving tonight in exactly a half an house. If you are late, there will be consequences," words rolled off his tongue in a hard tone.

He left quickly, the heels of his shoes clicked across the common room's stone floor. Most of the students had depleted to their dorms, except a few who all stared curiously. He was sure he could have been heard from the common room, but it was none of their business.

"What are you looking at? You silly child!" He hissed, and left for his own room.


	6. Chapter 6: From Negative to Positive

I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been procrastinating my summer assignments and I had camp so I haven't really had any free time. Here's chapter 6!

Note: I am having serious writers block at the moment.

Shawna's POV

She slowly walked through the dungeons, the dim light from Professor Snape's classroom contrasted with the dark halls. Her mouth became dry, and hot. Her throat ached with the nervousness winched in between the intricate knots in her stomach. Why on Earth had she taken the blame for something she didn't do? To please friends that were cruel and _enjoyed _the pain they gave to others? The more she thought about what she had done, the stupider she felt. Jenny should have taken responsibility for her actions, at least that's what her adoptive parents always taught her.

Her feet clicked against the cool bricks below her, the light of the classroom brought warmth to her face. She saw Professor Snape, standing in front of his desk in a perfectly straight posture. His black hair was greasy under the candle light, but it curtained his wrinkled scowl. She gulped as she recognized his school robes, and then she looked over herself. She had taken off her robes in hopes she wouldn't dirty them. She sported a slim pair of jeans, and a loose fitting white v neck.

He looked her over momentarily, but said nothing. He swished his wand through the air, sending a wooden tub of sloshing water and a hand brush through the air over to a table filled with dirtied cauldrons. Shawna bit her bottom lip frustratingly, there were what seemed like dozens of over sized pots. This task would have taken all night, and she certainly wanted sleep. Though she said nothing, and walked over to the table, realizing she ran into another problem. She could barely see into the cauldron, even on her tip toes. How on earth was she supposed to clean something she couldn't even see into?

She huffed, her annoyance slipping through her usually well kept emotions. She pulled the hair dangling in her face back into a disastrous pony tail, though she didn't care. If it kept the hair out of the water and the grime of the pots, she was satisfied. She balanced on the tips of her toes, and grabbed the brush, dipping it into the warmth of the suds and water.

The grime was caked onto the sides of the cauldrons in little rings that were persistent as to hanging on for dear life. Though she scrubbed as hard as she could, Shawna could not erase the stubborn lines. She re-dipped the brush numerous times before a hint of the stain had slid down to the sides of the pot in a brown, thick sludge that smelled of rotten eggs.

She wrinkled her nose, trying not to inhale the stench. She kept scrubbing the pot, though she couldn't see what she was scrubbing the majority of the time. The pot smelled more and more like bad eggs so she assumed she was doing it correctly.

Snape's POV

He was tentative as to whether he would give her a stool to stand on or not. She had not complained like any of the other detention students he usually had, though her annoyance was written on her face like a children's book. From the grasps of her hair tie, strands of her black hair fell into her face, rubbing against the sides of the dirtied pot. If she hadn't tried to play hero, she wouldn't even be in detention. She lied to cover up one of her little friends, and that deserved some sort of punishment. Though deep in the pits of his hardened heart, he felt a hint of guilt as he forced a small girl who could barely see into the pots to clean a mess some idiot wasn't smart enough to prevent.

"Ms. Zemphoria, why are you here? Remind me." He stated blankly, causing her bright blue eyes to drift up.

She relaxed her toes, and was hesitating for a moment, contemplating on what to say.

"Because I broke the rules, and I deserve a detention." She said cleverly, she wasn't lying, as she did lie to a professor earlier, which broke the rules.

He wanted to smile at the girl's wit, though he held it in. "And what rule would that be?"

His voice chimed, gentler than he intended. He wanted to slap himself, why was he so gentle with this student? She was no different than any other Slytherin first year!

She inhaled, and looked back down at the pots, knowing she'd have to lie again. She avoided the eye contact of the his ghastly stare. "I played a prank on a Gryffindor." She muttered in such a quiet tone, Snape could barely hear.

This angered him, honestly took more courage than covering up some ridiculous prank. This prank, even though on a Gryffindor, was a touchy spot with him. It brought memories of his time here at Hogwarts flooding before his eyes like a horror movie, along with memories of Lily, the only woman that meant anything to him. He pictured himself flying through the air for everyone to see as Potter controlled him like a rag doll. He remember how degraded he felt, and how embarrassment was plentiful.

"Stop trying to play hero, you silly girl! Honestly is a quality much more appreciated in the eyes of a human being, and trying to cover for someone else only makes a situation worse! How are they supposed to learn right from wrong? Don't be a twit, and reveal who you're trying so hard to cover." He hissed, his eyes glaring from his head as the anger pulsed through him.

As soon as the anger came, the guilt of yelling did also. She said nothing, and her child like face was directed towards the pot. Her hand scrubbed rhythmically, in motion. Her breathing was ragged as though she was trying not to cry, or she was just as angry. He realized yelling had made the matters worse, and that he had taken steps backwards and not forwards.

"I admit I lied, but I'm not saying for who." She said in the sound of the bristles on the brush scraping against the side.

This, as like everything else, angered him. She was stubborn and he frankly hated that quality, even in himself. He gritted his crooked teeth, his fists balled up like a child. A thought of getting Dumbledore crossed him mind, though he would just look immature and as though he couldn't handle his own house.

"I'm not a snitch, Professor Snape. I don't plan on becoming one any time soon. If I admit who did it, it doesn't teach her anything. She needs to come here herself, it has to be self voluntary. I'm willing to take the punishment until she can find the dignity to come and confess."

His anger kindled slightly, as her answer was not out of stubbornness, but selflessness. Through her perspective, she was doing the right thing. She had admitted to her part in it, her lying. Her answer was somewhat convincing, though he still scowled. He had never seen anyone willing to take a punishment to give time for the little delinquent to think. He felt…pride that she was in his house.

"One week of scrubbing cauldrons then." He sneered, walking behind his desk as he hovered over his papers. He could see a slight curve of her lips through the corners of his eyes, and he scoffed, he was turning into a softie.

Shawna's POV

She rinsed the final cauldron, the brown muck slipping down the drain. She was rather proud, her cauldrons sparkled, or at least she'd like to think it did. She dried her hands, and lingered in the doorway. She turned to the professor, who was now sitting at his desk scrawling on a piece of parchment with an elegant, black quill.

"Good night, Professor Snape." She said slightly, though she had actually felt some sort of annoyance to him. She hated being yelled at, and this would take her a good nights rest to forget about it.

He looked up, no emotion in the two black spheres on his face, "Good night, Miss Zemphoria."

She smiled slightly out of habit, and turned into the hallways, to see a boy staring at her. Her heart fluttered as their eyes met, and she felt her cheeks run scarlet. It was the boy from her transfiguration class, with the ruffled brown hair. His eyes were a prominent grey that sparkled like diamonds under the candle light. He smiled slightly, showing a set of perfectly white teeth.

"Hey, I don't think we've met before. I'm Ryder, Ryder Blumsberg. You're in a few of my classes I think." He held out a tanned hand, which Shawna grasped gently.

His hands were rough, but gentle in hers.

"Yeah, in a few I think. I'm Shawna Zemphoria." She grinned back.

"Let me be a gentlemen and walk you to our common room." He smiled, slightly bowing, outstretching his arms towards the halls leading to the Slytherin common room.

Shawna giggled, and started walking. He followed at her side like a faithful friend, and he joked about a few things, and so did Shawna. She was relieved every time he laughed quietly, careful not to cause to much noise. They talked about classes, how they each liked Hogwarts, and roommates.

"So, what are you doing out so late?" he asked charismatically, arching an eye brow under his shaggy head of hair.

"I could ask you the same question, Ryder." She smiled, brushing the fallen strands of hair behind her ears.

"Ladies first." He insisted, shooting her an arched eye brow, "Unless you have something to hide."

She laughed, "If you must know, I have detention for the next week with Snape. And you, mister Blumsberg?"

"Detention with Sprout. I tried stealing a mandrake, didn't turn out very well, let's just leave it at that."

They both chimed laughs, and the walk to the common room was all to quick. She could see the hallway to her dorm, and he could see his. It was rather awkward, as there was silence for a few moments.

"Well, it was nice talking to you! If you ever have free time or anything, let me know and we can go steal some mandrakes or something!" He winked, walking down his hallway.

She blushed, but hid her face as she walked in the opposite direction. Hogwarts certainly had everything, including boys. She wasn't annoyed anymore, in fact, she was happy beyond belief. She grinned ear to ear as she flopped onto her bed, staring at the ceiling above her.

Okay, that's the chapter! It's not my best, but I hope it wasn't too bad! Ryder is going to come into play in the series as an important character. Hope you enjoyed!


	7. Chapter 7: He knew

I am so sorry about my hiatus. I've had a lot of stuff going on, and I haven't been able to really sit down and write. Here is the next chapter, and once again, I am so sorry for my absence! Enjoy! (:

Snape's POV

It was a late night for him, though it seemed every night was. The silence of the empty halls suffocating, yet he enjoyed his isolation. He was sifting through old students papers, deciding on what to throw out or use for an example to the gits he had in his classes. He seemed to be repeating a cycle as more and more slits of parchment were filling his waste bin. This frustrated him to such an extent, it reminded him that the only minority of his students actually learned anything, as that was very obvious in these papers.

"Dunderheads! All of them!" He hissed to himself, drawing his wand and sending the contents of the waste bin into an endless inferno. He looked at the flames, and how they danced in the form of his anger. He ran a rough hand through his coarse, black hair. His life was nothing, he in fact, was nothing.

Nothing ever brought a smile to his chapped lips except Lily, and the thought of her. Even that brought him pain, as she was gone, and had chosen Potter. Potter. The name disgusted him, it was filthier than he was. An arrogant young man filled with boyish attitude. Potter deserved to die, Lily should have never suffered a fate as cruel as that. He let the names drift out of his head, and continued the sift through the yellowed parchment. Ink words were smudged, stains decorated the pages, the years locked away in his cabinet certainly did these essays in.

He came across one essay, though the score of 25% almost automatically sent it to the waste bin that was still heated from its latest combustion. There weren't many words, though many pictures, signifying the writer was extremely bored when writing. What was written made no sense, and he rolled his cold black eyes and looked to the name. It had been faded, lost into the pits of the parchment. He stared long and hard at this piece of parchment, and it had come back to him. His heart skipped a beat, his eyes widened. It couldn't have been, he had forgotten all about her. Pieces of this very complex puzzle that was his life were starting to fit together.

Shawna's POV

The morning came quickly, though her eyes seemed to be sealed permanently. She groaned, and rolled herself out of bed, falling onto the pavement below her. She heard a few laughs, though she ignored them. She pushed herself off the ground, and rubbed her eyes.

"Good morning sunshine! How was your date with Snape?" Jenny grinned, tossing her school robes over her grey sweater.

Shawna sneered at her, she wasn't in the mood. She slipped on her button down shirt, and the sweater over it. Her Slytherin tie was tucked in nicely, and she threw her robes on, along with her trousers. Tying her shoes, she was ready to go. She staggered through the hall to the common room, though she ran into walls several times. She was exhausted, she must've gotten around four hours of sleep.

The warmth from the massive fireplace circled around the room, warming her cheeks. She could feel color rushing back to her cheeks, and she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned to see a mischievous face, Ryder.

"So I heard that Professor Snape is gone for a few days." He said, arching his eye brows.

It took her a few moments to process what he said. Professor Snape, gone, where? And Why? She blinked a few times, and then a smile stretched across her face. No detention, he couldn't possibly give herd detention if he wasn't here!

"No detention! This is great!" She chimed, her grin stretching farther, revealing a set of white teeth. She felt overwhelmed with energy, as she knew she'd be sleeping well tonight.

"Exactly, well, do you wanna go down to breakfast? I was just about to leave." He said shyly, his eyes twinkling.

"Yeah, I'm actually pretty hungry. Let's go." She beamed radiantly.

And so a repetition of last night, they bustled through the halls, laughing merrily. She had forgotten about her over whelming exhaustion, as she felt so radiant. No more late night dates with Snape, no scrubbing bloody cauldrons, life seemed perfect. She could feel her mouth water in desire as the Great Hall was just a few steps away. A stomach filling feast was yet to come.

Sitting down next to Ryder, the two filled their plates heartily. A bit of this, a bit of that, more of this, and more of that. The shinning plates surface couldn't be seen anymore, as it was well covered with food and would have taken a professional excavator to find. As the two Slytherins ate to their hearts desire, Jenny and the rest of her roommates sat across from her and Ryder.

Jenny's eyes filled with greed, but not at the food, but at Shawna's new found friend.

"I don't think I've seen you around before. My name is Jenny, Jenny Holloway." She stretched her mouth out wide, revealing a perfect set of teeth.

To Shawna's delight, Ryder seemed the least bit interested. He didn't look up at Jenny, just focused on his food, "Hi."

Jenny looked astounded, as if someone had just committed a horrendous crime. Someone had not fallen for her dazzling pale blonde hair, and perfectly shaped blue eyes. Shawna wanted to burst out laughing, but she maintained her control and continued to eat. Ryder shot her a mischievous smile, and a wink before turning back to his plate.

Soon the entire Great hall was full of chatter and hungry students, as well as teachers. As the teacher's table behind Dumbledore's podium had filled gradually, one chair remained empty. Professor Snape was long gone, for how long, Shawna didn't know. His absence had saddened her slightly, though it made her more so happy as she was free of the holds detentions brought. She sighed happily as her plate was emptied, as was she. Ryder laughed slightly, but had sighed merrily also. As the Great Hall emptied, including Jenny and the other roommates, Ryder and Shawna remained, captivated in a conversation about what was a better subject.

"Potions by far. How could you _not be _absolutely fascinated. There might as well be _millions_ of combinations with such complex ingredients. It's like having control over everything, it's just, invigorating!" She beamed, taking a sip of pumpkin juice.

"Oh pee shaw! Herbology is awesome! Most plants make up your precious potion ingredients you know!" He smiled, flipping his full head of hair.

Shawna opened her mouth for a comeback, but she couldn't think of anything, and shut her mouth, smiling as her cheeks ran scarlet.

"Exactly." Ryder snickered, turning his head to see who was remaining in the Great Hall. Shawna jumped as she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder, as she turned she looked up at an aged, warm face. Twinkling eyes rested under half-moon glasses, and a beard ran down his face. She closed her slightly parted mouth and gulped, an overwhelming sense of nervousness flooded inside of her.

"Hello sir." She gulped, blinking a few times.

A small smile stretched across his small lips, "Miss Zemphoria, I was wondering if I could have a few moments of your time." His soft yet coarse voice rung through her ears.

"Yes sir, absolutely." She said automatically, bidding Ryder goodbye as she followed Dumbledore out of the Great Hall.

They walked through brightly colored halls, though the chills through open windows sent shutters down her spin. Contributing to this, she was convinced she was getting expelled. She didn't know why, but why else would Dumbledore need to talk to her? She hadn't even been here for more than half the school year, and she had managed to get herself into so much trouble. She focused her eyes on her small feet as she stumbled over her robes and the uneven stones on the ground. She followed Dumbledore up a winding staircase she had never seen before.

His office was extravagant, and she would have studied everything in site had she not been so nervous.

"Have a seat," He smiled, motioning a hand to an overstuffed arm chair. She sat comfortably, though inside she still felt a storm of emotions raging. She blinked a few times and stared at his eyes as he sat across from her. The fire to the side illuminated his aged, gentle face. She held her breath as he began to talk, crossing her feet, trying to stay as still as possible.

"Please, don't fret. You are in good hands, I promise. I just wanted to talk to you about the detentions you were to serve with Professor Snape this week." He said, folding his hands, placing them on his cluttered desk.

"Oh, yes. I understand sir." She chimed, her voice sounding like that of a small child.

"Would you like to explain to me what caused your detentions?" He asked, his calm presence soothed her, her body eased.

"I lied, sir. I feel awful, if that helps any." She looked to the floor, though when she peeked up she saw a small smile at the bridge of his lips once more. She felt it was alright to look up once more.

"I would be concerned if you didn't feel remorse. Anyways, the reason I have asked you to come and sit with me is just to let you know even in Serverus's absence, you will need to serve your detentions. Though it won't be as tedious as scrubbing dirty cauldrons, I feel it is an equal punishment. Some time during today, if you could help Professor Sprout tidy up her classroom, she would be most grateful. Just for today is all." He smiled, and she nodded. "Of course sir." She muttered, standing out of her chair, holding out a hand in which he grabbed and shook gently.

"Thank you sir." She smiled, and let herself out.

Dumbledore's POV

"You may come out now, Serverus. I didn't expect you to be back so soon." Dumbledore said into what seemed like the air, but a dark, shadowed figure emerged from the nook of his office.

"I do like her Serverus, she is very pleasant." Dumbledore smiled, though Serverus had not returned the gesture. His dark eyes proved his sleepless nights, and constant, never ending thoughts.

"I'm sorry for my league of absence. I will return to classes tomorrow morning, at the moment I need time to collect thoughts of mine." His hard voice filled Dumbledore's ears.

"Very well Serverus. Take as much time as you need, you've been a faithful friend." Dumbledore smiled, to which Serverus once again just stared. Albus could see the emotions pooling in Serverus's eyes, knowing that he felt he was far from a friend to any.

This saddened Dumbledore in many ways, and he wished Serverus could see he had positive qualities many could have never earned if they had tried,

"Have a pleasant day sir." Serverus murmured, opening the door, about to walk from the office.

"Serverus." Albus stated, in which Snape haltered in the doorway, pausing. He didn't turn to view Albus, he focused on nothing but the doorway and the staircase in front of him.

"Yes, Headmaster?" He asked, his low voice expressed his normal sense of anger.

"She looks astoundingly like you."

Snape's POV

Snape froze, haltering in the doorway,

"Yes, Headmaster?" He asked, he could feel the anger slipping off of his tongue.

"She looks astoundingly like you."

He voice was light, happy, yet Snape froze. He realized Albus knew, and that he wasn't the only one who knew, the he, Severus Snape, was a father.

"Yes, I suppose she does." Serverus said lightly, and a small, gentle smile emerged on Snape's lips, and he closed the door behind him.


	8. Chapter 8: The Flashback

It's been far too long, and once again, I apologize for the hiatus. I've got a good portion of time off of school, so I want to get at least two chapters up within the next week for you guys. Thank you to all those who read and review, it means a lot to me:]

The stuff in italics is some flash back stuff, I'm toying around with the flashbacks so let me know what you guys think.

Snape's POV

There was no way of being sure she was absolutely his, though he felt like she was. He had consulted with his "lover", and indeed, she did have a child after they had spent the night together. How angry this made him, he made apparent after she had confessed.

_The rain drizzled down from the sky grimly; Severus wandered through the alley ways of the town, looking for the door which held her, the possible mother of his child. If he had a child, that was. Of course, there was no way of even knowing she had become pregnant after they parted ways so many years ago. The only way he would have been sure that he was indeed a father was consulting with the woman who he had made that mistake with. If he did indeed have a child wandering the earth, there was a slim possibility it was the Zemphoria girl. _

_Though in his bones, he felt she was his. _

_After taking a long, hard stare at the girl the previous day, he compared the woman and her in his mind. Identical eyes, he was sure of that. His hair rested on the girl's head, he was also sure of that. He quickly diminished this thought from his mind, assumptions only brought him pain. He focused more so on the numbers on the doors as he passed identical homes. Finally, he found the one that had matched the address he had been looking for. _

_He raised a pale, clasped fist up to the door. The warped wood felt alien to his knuckles, though the echo of his knocks clashed with the rain hitting the cobble streets. He could hear the lock twist, and slowly, the familiar face he had known from so long ago emerged. Her changing eyes were their natural brown today, they widened in the sight of him. _

"_Severus?" She asked, her gentle voice flooded her ears, as she opened the door more, grabbing the side of her battered coat to drag over her fit body. _

"_Professor Snape." He corrected her, giving her a deep glare. _

"_Right, still professor I suppose." She half smiled weakly, letting him inside the quaint home. _

_It was small, warmly lit by one, small fireplace that illuminated the room with its dancing flames. Snape looked freely around the home, studying the surroundings his former student chose to abide in. It was all one, open room; along with a small corridor leading down to what he assumed was the bedroom. In the kitchen area was one small stove side by side with a fridge. A small, wooden table was accompanied with a single chair. There was a tattered couch tucked neatly by the fireplace. On the brim on the stones holding the fire place in was pictures of her smiling with friends as they danced in the rain. He had always been fond of her free spirit. _

"_What brings you here, professor? Tea?" She asked, her deep brown eyes still brought chills down Severus' spine. He wanted to smack himself; he would not allow himself to feel any attraction to this lost lover. He was completely, utterly devoted to Lily, and he vowed he always would be. _

"_No. I just have one question, and I will be on my way." He said curtly, haltering by the doorway. The words were hot on his tongue; he could already feel the anger and impatience riding within him like a stampede of colts. _

"_And what would that be, professor?" She asked, sending him a cheerful, bubbly grin. He did not return the gesture, and he stared blankly with his stone, black eyes._

_He spoke clearly, and hard. He paused with every word, to ensure she understood exactly what he wanted to know. _

"_Did we have a child?"_

_Her face dropped, and turned a sickly white than its usual tan composition. _

"_Severus, there is absolutely no need for this. That was eleven years ago, something we should both forget." She said in an equal hard tone, turning her back towards him and she set a kettle on the stove for tea. _

_He paced to her, and grasped her forearm, turning her so she would face him. Her brown eyes danced with fury and mischief as they always had. He spit the words this time, meaning there was no option, and that she would answer. _

"_Did we, have, a child?" He hissed again, his eyes boring into his. _

_Her little lips were formed into a hard line; she glared as best she could with the fear that pulsed through her veins. _

"_Yes." She answered in almost a whisper, and he let go. _

_He was momentarily silent, he turned away from her. Anger he had never felt before raged inside him. His heart pounded with such a ferocity he was unsure of what to do. He clasped his fists together; his knuckles turned a ghastly white, contrasting against his already pale skin. He shook with the rage that was releasing itself. _

_He grasped the chair that matched the small table, and pulled it to the ground. He couldn't find the words to say, he couldn't find the thoughts to think. All this emotion washed through him. Joy, regret, guilt, anger, everything humanely possible he was feeling at that exact moment. Why had she never told him? A simple __**owl**__ would have sufficed. He would have taken responsibility for what was his. All the memories he could have built with his child were wasted, replaced with some other man that was not __**his **__child's biological father! Jealously now rushed through him, and he turned to the woman who was once just a mere girl he had taught. _

"_Why didn't you tell me? Did it ever occur to you I would have taken responsibility? I would have __**wanted **__to take responsibility! Yet you withheld the information! You're not a child anymore!" He hissed, drawing nearer to her, glaring down at her as he towered over the woman. _

"_But I was then Severus! I was young, scared, just beginning to live on my own! What was I supposed to do, Snape? You tell me! You were __**ten **__years older than me. You had __**ten **__years of the experience from life, I didn't!" She fought back; tears welled in the once warm brown eyes. _

_He still raged on. _

"_**Our **__child was raised by someone else! All the time, it's unobtainable now! Everything wasted! Memories that could have been made, gone!" He bellowed, flailing his hands in the air as he turned away her and stormed to the other end of the kitchen frantically. _

_The tears on the young woman's face were now streaming. He had to calm down, he couldn't do this to her, no matter how angry he was. He rubbed his temples, and closed his eyes. He took deep, husky breaths as he tried to find the composure he so desperately needed. The fact that he was a father was now in every way apparent, now he needed all the information about the child. _

"_Do you know anything about the child?" He asked in a deep, cooled tone. _

_She took in a ragged breath as she shook with fear. She breathed a few more times before she was able to answer. _

"_It's a girl. She went to a good home, to a lovely, elderly witch and wizard. She had a head full of black tufts, just like yours." She whispered the last three words, and they seemed to hit him harder than anything. _

_Just like his. _

_Some girl, perhaps Shawna, was half of him. Half of everything he was was thrust into some other being. He helped create a little girl. A little baby. He blinked a few times, and he tried to hide his satisfaction. _

"_She has blue eyes; I had blue eyes when I gave birth to her." She said in a shaking voice. _

_Severus nodded, and stared at the woman in front of him. A fresh wash of guilt overcame him. Another innocent being he had reduced to tears. It stung even more with the fact that she was once someone he cared for dearly. _

"_I'm…I didn't mean to yell." He muttered childishly, peeking up sheepishly. _

_She smiled slightly, giving one short, dry laugh. "Still can't say that word, can you? Sorry isn't such a hard word to say if you'd just let go of your pride for a few moments." _

_He stood upright, declining his head, staring with the stare he gave his students. He was prideful, but he preferred it that way. He had built himself on a pedestal to heal from the blows to his self esteem he suffered through all of his life. From his pedestal, the blows he still took from dunderhead students were not as bad as they could have been. _

"_I will leave now, if you'd prefer. Once again…I…" He couldn't find the voice to say the word apologize. _

"_I know you're sorry Severus." She smiled weakly, turning back to the kettle that she tended to fix herself a cup of tea. _

_He nodded, and began to walk to the door. He haltered there, fixated on the figure of the mother of his child. Of the woman who once held his heart, and perhaps still did just a bit. She was pure, good. He was dark, damaged. Yet, she had once loved his twisted soul. He had always wondered why. _

_He walked to her side, leaving just one inch between them as he stared down at her. She had always been much shorter than he, but secretly, he liked it. His lips were parted just slightly; he couldn't find the words he wanted to say like a love-struck schoolboy. This had always frustrated him, the way her presence had unwound the wires of his mind. _

"_Why did you love me?" The words were plain, and simple. He wanted to know. _

_He needed to know. _

_She looked up at him, and smiled gently. "I may have been young, Severus, but I could always see the good no one else wanted to try to see. You're clever, throwing up your walls to protect that damaged heart of yours," she paused, raising a small hand to where his cold, lifeless heart beat. "But I could always, in fact, I still do, see the man others could only wish of becoming." _

_The black eyes found the brown for a few moments, as warmth flushed through his chest where her hand rested. He grabbed it carefully as if it were as fragile as porcelain, and cupped it in his rough, potion master hands. He slowly brought it up to his chapped lips, and brushed it against them. The memories of how she felt flushed back._

_He had to accept the fact she had maneuvered through the defenses he had put up. He had to accept the fact not every single human soul that had ever experienced his presence did not hate him. He had to accept that fact that perhaps she could read him better than he could read himself. _

_He lowered his hands, and her gentle fingertips slid off of his, the warmth they brought vanished. He was done here, there was nothing left to say, nothing left to do. The relationship they perhaps could have built was long buried under the absence they shared. _

"_Goodbye, Severus." She whispered, a small smile played at her scarlet lips. _

_He said nothing, and drifted to the doorway, once again entering the world he hated. He tried to focus on the fact that his child was somewhere, perhaps even at Hogwarts. He hoped it was the Shawna girl, as she reminded him so much of that woman he once, and perhaps still, loved. _

Severus warped himself back into the present time. He needed to stop focusing on the woman and more on finding out if Shawna Zemphoria was indeed, his child. He had studied every feature of hers very carefully, comparing them to that of his own of her possible mother. Some say you just have a feeling when you see your child, and Severus felt something deep within him when he looked at this little girl.

He certainly felt like a father of her when that Ryder boy asked her to the ball that would be held in a week's time. He did _not _approve, but what could he do? At the moment, he was just a professor.

Writer's Note: Ten cool points to whoever guesses who the mother is(:


	9. Chapter 9: The Ball

Here's chapter 9(: sorry for the delay, I've been super busy getting ready for Christmas, but I thought I'd sneak a chapter in while I'm supposed to be wrapping presents. Enjoy(:

Shawna's POV

Time passed, Professor Snape returned, and Shawna had mixed feelings about him. Ever since his arrival, she felt as though he had been watching her extra carefully, as if she had done something to anger him. She kept her head down as she walked past him in the corridors, and in class she no longer raised her hand to answer his questions.

She now sat next to Ryder and his friends in the classes, as she was not too fond of her roommates. They were on good terms, though she preferred Ryder's presence. They had become close friends, and whenever she felt the need to, she would confide her feelings and thoughts with him.

It was a cool Friday's evening, classes had finished up. The months had ticked into late December, and with its coming it brought either frigid showers or slippery snow. Ryder and Shawna sat out near one of lawns, protected from the rain that began to fall. They had both enjoyed the cool weather, and since it was the weekend, why not unwind?

Behind them, they could hear a couple stroll by. It was two Hufflepuffs, one boy and one girl. They chatted affectionately, Shawna assumed they were dating. She could hear them ramble on and on about some sort of ball coming tomorrow. This wasn't the first time Shawna had heard of it, but seeing as she had no knowledge whatsoever about it, she hadn't shown a desire to go.

"Are you going?" Ryder asked, his gentle voice flooded her ears, mixing with the sound of the now heavy rain.

"Not sure what it is." Shawna shrugged, folding her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them.

"Like a dance. It's like ten minutes of formal dancing, and then it's a party. They have a band and everything." Ryder sounded eager to go.

"Hmm, that sounds kind of…fun." She replied, warming up to the idea. Perhaps this was a way she could get her mind off of everything that had happened so far. It would have been a nice way to relax, with some fun.

"My brother says they are pretty cool." Ryder mumbled, picking up a loose rock on the cobble ground on which they sat upon, tossing it into the lush grass in front of them.

"Do you have to go with somebody?" Shawna asked nervously, looking to Ryder for the answer.  
"You can, usually it's better if you do, so you don't end up by yourself." He answered coolly as if he had done this before.

"Oh," Shawna muttered shyly.

She didn't really have an interest to ask someone, as she didn't fancy anyone in Hogwarts. She liked Ryder as a friend, and the majority of her other friends weren't really close friends at all. Her mind raced with all the embarrassing options that might have occurred. If she went dateless, she'd be standing around holding some sort of punch in some bloody plastic cup as all those around her danced with their partner. If she didn't go at all, what if someone noticed? All these possibilities flurried inside her mind and the more she thought, the worse she felt. Ryder interrupted her train of thought.

"Would you like to go, with me? Seeing as no other girl is as down to earth as you are, as we both don't know very many people, why not go with each other?" He smiled that same, warm smile he always did when she was nervous about something. Everything she was worrying about just a moment prior had vanished from the wires in her mind, and she felt calm and collected.

"I think that's a great idea," She smiled.

"Then it's a date!" He grinned.

As they both stood up to go to the Great Hall, in the direction they were headed, they could see a figure cloaked. It was Professor Snape no doubt, as his long, black hair was unmistakable. Shawna drew weary again. How long had he been standing there? Had he heard the entire conversation? She had the most peculiar feeling about that man.

Snape's POV

"Would you like to go, with me? Seeing as no other girl is as down to earth as you are, as we both don't know very many people, why not go with each other?" That Ryder boy asked her. Snape's anger rose.

Did this Ryder boy _deserve _to take Shawna to the ball? He felt this odd sense of protectiveness over the girl, and the more he thought of the fact those two were going to the ball together, the stronger the feeling was.

He huffed, and staggered to the Great Hall. He was being far too irrational for his taste. For Slytherin's sake, he had no idea if she was even his daughter! Yet he was already fussing over some boy.

But honestly, she was far too young. And innocent. She _really_ should stay in her dormitory and read or do something instead of mingling with _boys. _In fact she _needed _to stay away from boys until she was at least 20, or if she was a bit older, no _boy _had the right to take her out without _his _permission. Snape didn't care if it was the son of the greatest wizard in the world asking her out to a ball, _no one_ was good enough forher.

"Maybe I should give her detention for the night so she is unable to attend…" Snape thought to himself.

Once again, his irrational thinking led to him wanting to smack himself across his own face. He was not positive she was his daughter, even if he felt he ought to guard over her. He needed to cease this irrational thinking, as it did him no good. He also needed to act more so as her professor, and less as her father. All this staring at her to make sure she was under no harm needed to end; no doubt it made her very uncomfortable. She had stopped making eye contact in the halls, and her walking pace always increased when she walked by him.

He wasn't her father; at least he wasn't completely sure he was her father.

Shawna's POV  
It was the night of the ball, and Shawna was getting ready with her roommates. Jenny was dressed in a fine red silk dress. Marie was in a short, bright yellow dress. Their other roommate was unfortunately sick, and staying in.

Shawna had picked out a fitting black dress. It as slim till about mid abdomen, and then it flared out, complimenting a fine hourglass shape. She and the other girls had curled their hair so it flowed gently to about their shoulders. Shawna was rather excited, as she planned on forgetting about everything that had bothered her up to that point.

They walked arm in arm down to the Great Hall. They were giggling with excitement, chatting about their dates and their dresses. They blabbed about what the decorations might look like, and who had the best dress out of the older girls they had seen walking down. The mood was so light, and cheerful. Shawna had wished this is what it was like the first day. No pranks, no jokes, no worries, just happiness, and excitement.

She had been so caught up in thinking of what the Great Hall would look like that she wasn't completely oblivious to the fact she had just walked into the Great Hall. Squinting, her eyes adjusted to the light. The entire room was washed with gentle blue lights. It was luxurious, everything. It seemed as though things were made of ice, the entire room had a chilled, yet friendly atmosphere.

She spotted Ryder, dressed in a handsome, crisp black dress robe. His hair seemed ruffled as it always had, and his eyes were sparked with curiosity. He smiled gentle, his eyes fixed only on her. He paced over slowly; each step seemed to match the beats of the pre-music before the real ball began.

"You look great," Ryder said in a chipper tone, giving her a quick, awkward hug.

"Thanks. You look pretty sharp yourself." Shawna replied, accepting the warm gesture.

They walked towards the center of the dance floor where couples were anxiously awaiting the start of music. Ryder had lost his nervous expression, and had relaxed. They chatted freely under the lights, and finally the music began to play. As Ryder said it started as a more formal, slow song.

Ryder had placed his hand on Shawna's waist, and the other hand was intertwined with hers in the air. Shawna gently placed her free hand on his broad shoulder, and he drew closer to her until there was only an inch between them.

Snape's POV

He, of course, was assigned as a chaperon to the dance to discourage any "flashy" behavior between students. Although he had this job every year, he still hated it with a fiery passion. It reminded him of how deeply he wanted to escort Lily to the ball, though he never got the chance. He grumbled to himself as he stood near the stage where the band played, with his hand folded neatly around his back. His robes were freshly ironed, and they had billowed in his wake as he kept his eyes out for any unacceptable behavior.

Surprisingly, most had been obtaining the rules, and his job was easy, yet he couldn't keep his eyes off of the Zemphoria girl. She danced with that Ryder character as he had feared, and they were much to close. He was about to go and push them to maintain a longer distance, until he felt a light tap on his shoulder.

He felt the annoyance pulsing through his body increase, and he turned around to see what dunderhead had disturbed him. It was McGonagall. Snape maintained a hard, tight lip as he stared waiting for her reason for bothering him. She sported handsome emerald green robes, what she usually wore to class and such. Her hair was pulled tightly in a bun, with one curl nuzzling her cheek as it hung loose. Her wrinkled lips were twisted into a forced smile, "Would you like to dance Severus?"

Snape made his disgust known. He was utterly repulsed, to be quite frank. Here was this woman who was more than twice his age, asking him of all people to dance! He furrowed his brow in confusion and repulsion, and he was about to decline as brutally as possible until he saw out of the corner of his eye Dumbledore. He was watching Severus intently, meaning he had sent Minerva to request a dance.

He rolled his eyes, and looked around at all the students dancing by them, curiously waiting his response. Snape grumbled, and awkwardly took hold of her hand and led her near to where Shawna and Ryder swayed slowly to the music. At least he would be able to keep an ear on the conversation they so freely shared. Eyes followed Snape and Minerva, and through the pulsing beats of the music he could hear sniggers from the children.

Minerva gave him a hard stare, "Take hold of my waist, Severus."

He glared as best he could, yet with the Headmaster intently watching them, he had no choice. Grabbing on to her waist, he refused to make eye contact like a stubborn little boy. He shot the students with fiery glares as they sniggered. Minerva chuckled heartily, "Severus, it looks as though you are being tortured!"

This might as well be torture.

He ignored the comment, and looked around at the students, mostly at the Ryder character and Shawna. He was _much _to close for Severus' liking. Steering Minerva like a car, he piled through the couple dancing, "_at least _8 inches," He said, mainly staring down Ryder. He focused his attention to him completely, "Don't get any ideas," he said in a low hiss only loud enough for him to hear.

Ryder glared back, and flipped his hair like an arrogant little git. Shawna looked confused; Minerva gave him a questioning stare. Severus pulled a stray hair out of his face as he watched Shawna and Ryder tentatively grab hold of each other again. Snape sneered, as he knew Minerva would ask. Instead of focusing on the wrinkled bat he was forced to dance with, he tuned into the conversation of Ryder and Shawna as he had planned earlier.

"So, what is your life like, outside of Hogwarts?" Ryder asked curiously, and with this question, Snape listened eagerly.

"Umm," She mumbled, and looked down at her feet. "Well, I live with an elderly witch and wizard. I do basically the stuff I do here, potions, looking for potion ingredients, that sort of stuff.

"Wait, what about your parents?" Ryder asked, Snape practically stretched his ear over to hear the answer. This answer might have solved the entire riddle that was playing out the past few weeks.

"I don't know who they are. All I know is that my dad was in Slytherin, according to the sorting hat, and my mom was really young, like just out of Hogwarts when she had me." Her cheeks ran a vivid scarlet, and Snape saw the embarrassment pool in those deep, blue eyes.

He was sure now, that this girl was his. His heartbeat seemed to be the only thing he could hear, and the world seemed to hesitate. Reality faded away, only leaving the ever so beautiful image of his, daughter. He breathed in deeply, and he couldn't take her eyes off of the little girl at that moment. He felt the softest look glide onto his face, and the longing to reach out to the girl, and pull her into him, to embrace her as he would have if he had been given the chance.

He had heard the phrase so many times, that a woman becomes a mother when she realizes she's pregnant, and a man becomes a father when he sees his child. That was certainly how he felt, like a father. Snape felt a drizzle of happiness on his stone cold heart, he was unaware of what to do. He wanted to know everything about her. How she slept, how she walked, how she thought, what her dreams were, what bothered her, what embarrassed her, what he favorite foods were, but most of all, what she thought of him.

"I want to know them though. I want to know what the kind of person they evolved to." He heard her soft voice caressing his ears; she wanted to know that she was his. He felt his legs turning to her, and he was about to walk to her, put either hand on her shoulders, look into her mother's eyes, and tell her.

The haze he was in disappeared when he felt Minerva tap him on the shoulder, "Severus? Severus?"

He batted her thick, black eyes a few times, and in an urge without thinking, he let go of her, and walked briskly out of the Great Hall.

He found himself automatically slithering back to the pit of his dungeons, just like the snake he was. He ripped open the cabinets and behind the various bottles of potion ingredients and snatched the fire whiskey bottle. Murmuring angrily to himself, he poured the sweet liquid plentifully into a polished goblet.

He brought it to his lips, the drink slid down his dry, aching throat. The dark storm roared inside Severus' aged bones. He felt furious with himself, with the girl's mother, with everything that moved at that moment. In a spur of anger, he threw his drink against the wall, and watched the glass shatter in different directions, the gentle clicking of the glass hitting the stone ground.

His legs felt faint, and he sat in his tattered chair. He rested both his elbows on the table, and slid his fingers into the greasy tangled mess that was his hair.

He realized something at that moment. He couldn't tell her, he never could. She had a life without him, a life that was never meant to include him. He had never been part of the decision to give that little baby a life without her real parents, but he knew that if he were to tell her, the course of her life would change. He thought deeply about her life, and what the repercussions would have been if he had told her. She was doing phenomenal in school, she had a pure heart, determination, and she had been well raised.

But not by him.

Oh, what did he care! He was nothing; she would have come to be a monster, just like he was. He would have never been able to love her like her adoptive parents most definitely had. His heart was to cold, his walls had been to well construct. He had killed people; he had aligned himself with the darkest wizard of time until he was cut down by the young Harry potter. The stinging pain of regret filled his broken soul, but at the same time he had proven to himself it was better he was not apart of the girls life.

Author's note.

So, I was not pleased at all with this chapter, and I'm trying to think of new ideas to make the story more interesting :/ I just wanted to take the time to thank everyone who reads, and who reviews. I really appreciate it; it really makes my day and assures me I'm doing something right. I hope everyone is having a great Christmas Eve! And reviews are always appreciated (:

P.S. I might put up another little chapter tonight, so keep your eye out(:


	10. Chapter 10: A Talk in the Firelight

Thought I would take a break from studying for finals and do a little writing. Writing is good for the noggin anyways(:

As always, Reviews are greatly appreciated, as they are most definitely helping me progress towards becoming a greater writer. Thank you to all who have just taken a few moments of their time to say good chapter, or I can't wait to see what happens next, or update soon. It means so very much to me, every time I see a new review, my day is made.

Shawna's POV

Life here was better, better than it had been in such a long time. What had happened so early in this school year had faded from Shawna's memory. In just a short period of time, something new had sprouted, and begun to flourish in the pits of her chest, nuzzling her heart.

Snow had finally begun to fall in the later days of this December month, its gentle flakes falling upon the heads of students who had eagerly awaited its arrival. The grounds were now hidden in its soft powder, the once lush grass now replaced by the crunching snow. The frigid air welcomed the cheeks of everyone here, in this castle.

The break for Christmas and New years had just begun, and many who so routinely marched these halls were now away, enjoying their various assortments of puddings and presents. Shawna, on the other hand, had stayed. She had felt such an overwhelming happiness after the dance, even though it had been such a short time.

Classes had been going so well, that is, before the break began. The subjects here were perhaps the only thing she felt she exceeded at. Everything had taken time to master with practice, but she had received top marks in all her classes, except for charms, she struggled with the subject. Flying was one of her favorite subjects, and Madame Pooch had said if she practiced diligently over the summer holidays, she could try out for Quidditch in her second year.

But as much excitement as this brought, her heart belonged to potions. Invigoration pulsed through her youthful veins as she learned more in the class. Though most students hated him, Professor Snape was the most qualified, knowledgeable being to teach the class. He had taught her many facts and tips; she had felt she had really mastered the subject.

Yet even with the knowledge, he made her feel very uncomfortable. She saw many emotions floating in the two black spheres that rested upon his aged face, emotions others failed to see. He always seemed to watch her carefully, as if he was, well, _restless. _As much as she tried, she could never push this thought to the back of her mind. She had known better than to ignore something that bothered her like the way this did.

Yet today, it was the last thing on her mind. It was early Saturday afternoon, and she was enjoying the thick snow that had fallen the night before. New friends she had made from other houses had come along, and of course Ryder had too. Snowballs flailed through the air, cloaks became drenched in water, cheeks had stained scarlet from the cold. Though the air was so frigid, the overall feeling was warm, one could say delightful. Little did these cheerful students know that a watchful Snape was lurking in the shadows…

Snape's POV.

He hid his figure in the darkness resting behind a pillar. He watched her, he watched those around her. He was so fixated on her smile, and laughter. It seemed that when she laughed, his entire world shook with glee, but he would never admit it. He was satisfied her life was full of joy, and the experiences that dotted her school year were jovial. He would interfere in anyway possible to ensure her life was in no way shape or form like his, even if it meant not interfering at all.

Indeed, he wished he could subsist in these occurrences with her, but he would not risk her happiness. He had spent many nights pondering how he could love her so deeply though he had never spent the quality time with her as her adoptive father had. He had come to the conclusion, whoever the man was that assisted in raising his little girl had taught her to be a better person than Snape was, and he appreciated it.

The snow had stopped falling, though the busy students had not realized it, they were too distracted with the tossing of snowballs, and ducking under snow built bases. Snape grasped his wand residing in the loop of her belt, slowly pulling it to his face. He whispered the incantation for the atmospheric charm, demanding it to snow. If the falling flakes brought a smile to that girl, he would ensure it snowed everyday of her life here at Hogwarts.

Time passed slowly as he watched her dance around in the snow with her comrades, that white grin of hers blended in so deeply with the slush. Just then, a boy running backwards had collided her, causing them both to topple over into the snow. Snape flinched, had she been hurt? He watched carefully to find the boy was that Ryder character, and a sneer washed over Snape's aged face. He would give him a blink of an eye to get off of her, his face was much to close to hers.

But he did not move.

Snowballs flew through the air from the hands of other students as if they did not realize the two had fallen. Snape grasped his wind tightly in his balled up fist, and strut over. He was sure his black being had contrasted with the blissful, pure atmosphere.

"Immoblus!" He chanted, causing all snowballs swirling through the air to freeze, and fall to the ground.

He grabbed Ryder by the neck, pulling him off his daughter.

"We do _not _allow this sort of animal behavior to coincide with Hogwarts good name!" He snarled, dragging the boy off inside the building. His hand remained gripped onto the back seams of the cloak resting on the boy's neck as he paced off into the dungeons.

"Let go! I didn't do anything, I was getting up!" Ryder growled, rustling in Severus' grip, unable to free himself.

"Silencio!" Severus hissed, and the boy's lips were sealed.

Waving his hand to open the door to his classroom, he threw the boy down into a chair, turning himself to the front of the desk.

He waved his hand once more through the air to break the silencing charm, though he would not allow the boy to speak until he did.

"If you so ever decide to get a burst of confidence and lay as much as a hair on that girl, I swear I will have you out of this school before you can breathe! From now you can be assured I will be in every shadow, every nook, every corner, and every cranny where you are! If a thought ever crosses your mind you can play your little boyish games on her you will thoroughly regret it with every fiber of your pathetic being." Severus roared, his face inches from Ryder's, the animosity in his eyes bubbled and fizzed.

Yet Ryder did not move, not even a flicker of fear swirled in his eyes. He glared into the murky eyes of his potions teacher.

"You think you're so threatening, but I'm not scared of you. You are so blatantly wrong, I would _never _hurt her. She is my best friend, more than she is to you!" His voice was sturdy, unshaken but the sinister glare Severus shot.

Severus gritted his set of crooked teeth, "meaningless words are better left unsaid, boy."

Ryder would not have it with this phrase. He rose to his feet, his hair frayed around his eyes, which beamed outrage. His normally pale face had become flushed with the ire that pulsed through his young veins. His fists balled, his ever so white knuckles contrasted deeply against the brim of his hands.

"_Meaningless? _I am the one speaking the _meaningless _words? You, _you're _the one at fault for all of her displeasures and her discontent here! Stalking her like some predator, always lurking in the halls when she does! You, you are _nothing _but her potions teacher, yet you insist on pursuing a higher placement in her life! What is your undying interest with my best friend?" the frustration glided off his tongue in elegance, each syllable Severus in ways he could not imagine.

The pain, the anger, the guilt, the desire, all revolving around Shawna Zemphoria. The boy was correct in every manner possible, he was not meant to hold an important position in the girl's life. He played his cards daringly when he impregnated her biological mother, this was his punishment. This entire life was fate's way of punishing me, as he deserved it. He was the worst thing to have ever walked the planet, to have ever taken life's sweet breath. She would find happiness inevitably, with, or without him.

"You're free to go." Severus whispered quietly, his coarse voice was barely intelligible. The despondency he displayed was conspicuous, as he had no energy to hide his damaged heart anymore.

Severus set himself down at a desk, walloping in his own self pity. He stared down onto the sleek table he rested his elbow on. Its orthodox shade of black symphonized with everything he was, and everything he was to be. His mind focused on nothing but the reflection of the firelight dancing ever so gently across the surface of the table. He traced his feeble, scarred index finger against the spots of the table that were illuminated with the light. The roar of the fire roared in unison with the boy's breathing, and that is when Severus realized Ryder had not left the room.

"What are you hesitating with, leave!" Severus jeered, swaying his hand impetuously towards the door.

Yet the boy did not move, as he had not when he was on top of his daughter. Severus flailed his nostrils with the memory still fresh in his mind.

"You look just like her when you're upset." The boy stated bluntly, his youthful, sinless eyes plunged into the long forgotten soul of Severus Snape.

Severus could feel his eyes widen, but as soon as he had realized this, he quickly returned to his angered poise, rising gracefully. He brought his hands together in front of him, intertwining them together like soul bound lovers. The boy could not know that he was her father, for he would surely tell Shawna. He could not bear to witness her life tremble to its core, resulting in the facts that dealt entirely with him.

"I suggest you leave before you find yourself in a predicament, boy." He pronounced each word, directing his eyes, his anger, his frustration, his billowed soul to Ryder.

It was then Severus saw the boy's eyes light with connection.

"You're her father, aren't you? I can see it, the way you look at her. Bloody hell, you look a lot like her." He murmured in a dazed tone, running a hand through his hair in confusion.

"I assure you that you are mistaken." Severus spit in his monotone voice, though his heart raced with anxiousness. He would detest as needed be to prevent what was the inevitable. Severus underestimated the intelligence of the boy, as he had never given a moments thought to the observant characteristics of Ryder.

Ryder smiled slightly, "You can't do much at this point, and did you really expect to keep this a secret? You really are not as inconspicuous as you make yourself out to be."

Severus felt his mind whisper for him to bring forth the cessation of pretending to have no relation to the girl. He had come to the conclusion there was no need to, as no evidence could be provided that the girl was not half of everything he was, at least not enough for the boy.

Severus sighed, "Congratulations, you have brought her life, as well as mine, to a screeching halt, now, off with you so I may breathe in peace." He raised his hand once more, though it did nothing, as Ryder still sat there, his bright eyes full of questions.

"Why haven't you told her? She deserves to know, she wants to know. If you only knew how desperately she desired to just know who her real parents are. You're unknowingly doing the exact opposite of what she wants." The boy pursued with his questions, expecting answers Severus was not prepared to give.

"Because it would ruin her life. I believe firmly I have done enough to ruin her time her at Hogwarts, and I plan to not continue to do so. To tell her would alter her life, as well as mine, resulting in nothing but misfortune." Severus muttered, striding towards his desk, hoping his disinterest with the boy would cause him to leave. He sifted through papers, yet Ryder followed hi to his desk.

"You're so ignorant! Tell her, she deserves to know! By holding this from her you do nothing but preserve the hole in her life. Why did you abandon her in the first place? You coward, tell her!" Ryder shouted, slamming his two hands on the edge of his desk.

Severus look up him, the rage radiated from his eyes. He knew nothing! Severus grabbed the collar of the boy's white shirt, bringing him closer so he could feel the breath if Severus on the cheeks of his rounded face. Severus' breathing shuttered with acerbity, and he began to speak.

"You know nothing! If I had only known I was having the child I would have taken responsibility faster than you could spit your little remarks! I knew nothing; I lacked the knowledge that her mother was even carrying her! She made the decision to send her to some forgotten family where _my _daughter would be raised without me! I would have adored to raise her, to love her, to teach her right from wrong, to hold her hand and guide her through the paths of life, to grasp her close when she was frightened, to tell her foolish tales that would have brought her joy, to be her father." Severus gasped, letting the boy go, the grief overwhelming the figure he had chiseled himself to be.

He wanted to weep, to let the pain overcome him, but he couldn't, he would not allow himself to. He dropped his head, and began scanning the papers that rested before him. The candlelight created two glowing orbs of light in his eyes.

"Bloody hell, you do love her." Ryder uttered in a gentle voice.

Severus paused for a moment, and slightly raised his head. He blinked his midnight eyes twice, the orbs in his eyes illuminating the pain Ryder could see so clearly. He opened his mouth to speak, "More than you will ever know."

Ryder breathed deeply through his nose, the air around the candle cause the flame to dance in the manner of a ballerina. "Please sir, tell her. If you don't, I will. She needs to know, she really does."

"Now is not the time or place. She is better off without me, as you stated before, I caused her discontent, and I wish to end this pattern." Severus blankly stated, his eyes once more fixated down below on his paperwork.

"She wants what anyone in her position would, a chance at a family. You can give her that." The last words Ryder expressed collided with his mind, causing the pondering thoughts of what would happen if he were to tell her.

Perhaps the boy was correct, perhaps she deserved to know. In fact, she did deserve to at least know he was her father. If she had an immense disliking for him, at least she would have some sort of completion in her life. If it made her happy, he would, just as he would have made snow fall for her at any hour in her time at Hogwarts.

"I will consider it," Severus muttered blandly, in other words, the agreement from a prideful middle aged man rung through the walls of the dungeon.

Severus peered through the corner of his eyes to see the cheeks of the boy rise in glee, revealing a set of teeth contrasting to his own, white, and straight.

"You are really giving her everything she wants sir. By the way, she talks walks in the evenings alone, down by the lakes, she enjoys the peace. You'd be able to talk to her there." Ryder hinted, leaving his classroom quickly.

Severus waited until the echoes of the footsteps belonging to the boy were had long faded from the halls, and the silence was restored. He took a leap of faith, and he began to practice what he would say.

"Shawna…no, no, that will never do. Miss Zemphoria, you are not to be out of the castle at this hour…no, no, must I be so formal? Fancy meeting you here…oh Merlins beard that sounds so…oh bother, curse this!" Severus murmured to himself, grumbling unintelligible words as he sat in the glow of the firelight.


	11. Chapter 11: The Lake Brings Forth Pain

So sorry for the late update. I've had a rough time with some things that have recently happened and I couldn't get myself to put the pen to the paper. Thank you to all those who read and review, after re-reading the reviews I have received I was able to write this. As always, reviews are greatly appreciated, and motivating in times like this. (: The chapter begins with a dream, so I typed it in italics.

Snape's POV

_The night's air welcomingly brushed its lips upon Severus' pale face as he lay in bed. Outside the worn walls of his home a storm howled its anger against the world, ravaging the tree's worn leaves as they swayed in unison. Ever so often, a crack of thunder would cause the thin floors to shake, lights hanging from the ceiling shifting from off to on. He pulled the thin cotton blanket up to his cheek, nuzzling it as if it were the hand of one he loved. _

_In the tenor of the rain's pelting, the door to his bedroom creaked open, naked feet slapping against wooden floors. He shifted his hips, turning his body from one end of the room to the other so his line of sight could adhere to the one standing in his doorway. _

_Her pajamas were a pale blue, with rich, navy pinstripes running down, elongating her slim body. With this feeble blue blanketing her, the youthful, electric blue eyes resting on the brim of her nose were illuminated when another flash of lighting filled his room. At that moment the melancholic atmosphere was lifted when she stepped close to him, kneeling so their faces were equal. Her palm brushed against his aged cheek, and she whispered to him. _

"_I need you to tell me." _

_At that moment, she began to fade into nothing more than a mist. Her transparency became clearer and clearer, yet the warmth of her hand against him was still prominent. He clasped what was left of her hand in his._

"_No, don't go! I won't let you! I will, I'll tell you everything, please don't leave me," He gasped, the sorrow returning to him, its true home. _

"_This is our fate. This is what we are destined to be unless you tell me, strangers walking in familiar ways. Tell me," Her voice dispersed, eventually swallowed by the taunting drops of rain, and the belts of lightning. _

He awoke with a jump and a suppressing pain in his chest. He leaned up in his bed, supporting himself with his hands behind his back, pressing into the feathered mattress upon which he slept. He panted in the manner of an overworked dog, beads of sweat furrowed upon his brow, his bangs becoming molded and meshed together. He repeated in his mind over and over that it was a dream, nothing more than a fictitious imagery concocted by his mind. Yet, the pain, the warmth, it was all so vivid.

"Bloody hell," He murmured to himself, ripping the sheets of his bed from himself, the air of his dungeons welcomingly kissing his legs. He rose and staggered to the small table across the room, pouring himself a steaming hot helping of tea. He knew he would not be returning to sleep tonight, though he desperately needed it. Sleep, his only escape from this reoccurring problem, had become tainted with her face, his daughter.

Oh, how he had planned to leave her be, something he could have done with time's help. Yet that boy, Ryder, telling him of the joy if she knew who he was, ruined this. Now a persuasive matter was in this mesh, and he had not an idea as to how to handle it. He wandered to the other end of his hidden room in the potions class, sitting himself down in the oversize arm chair that rested next to the window. He stared blankly at the wall, his thoughts scampering about in his mind.

His eyes drifted to the window as he scrutinized the grounds. Still lush with snow, he forced himself not to look towards the lake. Ryder had informed him the girl would sneak out in the evenings and stand by the lake's surface. Curiousity was now inflamed in his bones, and he wondered whether she was. He peered through the corner of his eyes, and indeed, a small figure was meekly wavering, looking at the reflection.

"You are weak, Severus," He told himself as he stared at the beautiful figure that was undoubtedly his daughter.

"Tell her," the boy's voice collided into his mind.

He would.

Setting down his tea, he pulled on a pair of trousers and his thickest cloak, for he was to fight against the bitter cloak. Perhaps this going on a moment's whim was foolish, or perhaps there was something in the tea, yet he did not care, to live in this lie was no longer healthy.

He aspired she would be gleeful though, when he told her.

Shawna's POV

She hummed to herself contently, staring out at the landscape surrounding the lake. Snow capped pines, and frosted greenery blended ever so neatly into the crisp, white ground. As she breathed, her air was visible, arising a giggle to shatter the night's silence. The lake water was still, and at moments like this, she felt so blessed to be here.

She couldn't put a thumb as to how long she had been sneaking out of the castle's walls to stand here under the moon's watchful eye, yet she felt no worry of detention or a lowering of marks, for the peace she felt here was indescribable, and in itself necessary. She enjoyed being alone, perhaps far too much than most.

Her mind had been working far too hard. Lately, she had been thinking of her biological parents. She wondered fiercely as to who they were, what they did, as she always had. Yet as time passed, smaller details came into play. She wondered whether her mother would've rocked her to sleep at night, humming the sweetest of spring's tunes. She dreamed her father to play with her in the summer's musky evenings, protecting her from scraped knees and boys. She guessed her mother would have taught her lady like things such as sewing and clanking away on a piano. All the things her friends had told her their parents did with them, she wondered if perhaps her life would have been the same.

Such bitter sweet thoughts came close to brining a tear to her eye, yet she remained calm. She had to wonderful adoptive parents that had raised her with the most tender love and care.

"But they are _your_ parents." Her heart whispered.

"I know." She would always reply.

Her mouth ran dry, and her throat ached. She was about to turn it in for the night, maintaining a poised face when her thoughts were so dark was no longer simple. She would retreat to the confinements of her bed where she would drown herself in the tattered potions book, for it always kept her secrets.

"Miss Zemphoria," A monotone voice greeted.

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up, yet that cold, hard voice was softened, as though it were truly a greeting, not a chastisement.

"P-professor Snape, I-I'm so sorry, please don't give me detention," She turned, the tears in her eyes becoming harder to clasp onto.

He stood with a proper straight back; as usual his habitual black robes billowed around him grimly. Where the long sleeves of his cloak ended, two pale, lengthy hands emerged, folded together in front of him. His hair was unusually clean, yet it still curtained his pale, blank face.

A miracle happened there where no one was there to judge, or to gasp.

He smiled, so gently as if it were undetectable.

"If I were to do so, I would be hypocritical. I too, used to find myself spending evenings past hours here when I was a student." His footsteps trampled in the snow as he stood next to her, his eyes gazing upon the lake.

At that awkward moment, she was unaware as to whether she should leave and return to her dormitory, or stay into what seemed to be folding into a meaningful conversation. It seemed as though gravity held her firm to where she was standing. Nevertheless, the muscles in her back tensed with fear, and caution.

They stood a few moments in the silence, hearing nothing but wind as it blew against the trees.

"What brought you here all those nights ago, Professor?" She asked, her voice as gentle as that of the winds.

"A mind desperate to escape all the trials of my youth. I found it was here I was most happy." He answered her, his voice equally gentle.

She smiled at the thought of a happy Professor Snape, for he seemed far too irate, and sad. She wished everyone could be happy in the world for one mutual moment, and perhaps it would give birth to more moments like it.

"Me, too." She muttered, her eyes widening. Was it true, that she was having a conversation with the man who she felt so uncomfortable with? However, the discomfort seemed to have faded.

Another moment of silence rang through the atmosphere, but it was Snape who broke it this time.

Snape's POV

"Dumbledore tells me you are adopted." Despite the cold around him, he felt the warmth she radiated.

She sighed, "I wish I wasn't."

"I can imagine that would be something very difficult to carry on one's shoulders, especially one who is so..." He began, turning his line of sight to his daughter who stood next to him so innocently. She looked up at him because of his pause; her eyes opened the doors to her, and everything she was.

"Fragile." He finished.

She looked away, back towards, the lake.

"It is certainly not a walk in the park. But I have no options, so this is my fate, to be alone." She cantered gloomily.

"Perhaps you don't have to be." He muttered, and with this, she looked up one more.

She looked confused, and slightly concerned. There was no turning back at this point; he made to find exactly what to say, and how to say it. He hoped it would end well, and that she would finally find the happiness she had searched for, even if that was him.

"Miss Zemhoria, I…I'm your father." He spoke tentatively as he watched her expression change from the confusion to the shock.

She blinked a few times, and breathed heavily. Her brows were furrowed, and Severus could tell the words she wanted to say were not coming out. He was unaware as to what she was thinking, what she was feeling, and this bothered him. She bit her lower lip, and cupped her face with her hands, moving them to run hands through her hair. Every portion of her body language was unreadable, she was a closed book. She stood in silence; a silence so petrifying Severus would have rather found sanctuary in the lake's icy waters.

"How long have you known?" She asked slowly, her voice hard.

"A few months," He muttered.

She would not have it.

"No, no you can't be. A few months? A few? How could you not-why didn't you? You've known all this time, and I, I have waited eleven years, raised by strangers when it should have been- no, this isn't. You aren't. Don't lie to me." Her voice shook with tears, with anger, and with this, Severus felt his heart fall victim to the hatred for himself he had been battling all his life. He succumbed to his usually anger to hide the pain, heavens forbid anyone could see his pain.

"Is it apparent through that thick skull of yours that it was nothing short of difficult on my end either? If I had only known that I was your father when you were born I wouldn't have blinked an eye before I was there to take you to where you belonged. I would have taken responsibility-not because that is what a man does, but because I would have wanted to! Does it occur to you both our lives would have been completely arranged if I shed news to this? I was thinking of your best interest! How would I have known what you wanted if I didn't know who you were! Judge me not on this procrastinated delivery of news, but for the courage it took to came here! To tell you these truths! This was not some simple decision; I could have hid this, and allowed you to continue on! If it hasn't come to your attention, I am nothing shy of a monster, a shallow cold being. Why would anyone, especially you, one of the kindest, purest things I have ever seen walk the halls of Hogwarts, want me in any part of your life? You, you are nothing shy of your mother. I wanted to protect you, because that was the only way I knew how to love you, yet preserve the life you were making for yourself here," He rambled, yelling at times, speaking softly at others. He had lost his thoughts in the midst of his speaking, unable to portray a clean point as he was always able to.

He looked at her, her eyes glistened with many emotions-anger and sadness being most presumable.

"If you'll excuse me, I think I'll retire to bed. You aren't my father, you just…" She shook her head, losing her thoughts completely. He watched her as she walked away from him off to the castle, and perhaps out of his life.

"Please, don't go." He whispered as she became nothing more than a dot that had molded in the black night.

He fell to his knees, curling up into a ball. He was weak, pathetic, worthless. He had managed to chase away everything he had loved, even one who he had scarcely knew. He brought his knees to his chest like as he did when he was a child, forced to endure the fighting of his parents. He burrowed his head into the pit of his knees, he would have been content dying now, leaving this hell, as there was truly nothing left. He let his pain show, and he was sure he was quite a site at this moment.

He felt a hand grasp his shoulder gently, giving it a tight squeeze. He peered up through the hair obstructing his vision to see Albus Dumbledore, looking down upon him with sorrowful eyes.

"Arise, Severus." His hoarse voice cooed, and he aided Severus into standing on his own two feet like a man should have done.

He faced him, regaining his poise, hiding his pains as he always did.

"Yes, Headmaster?" He asked, clearing his throat.

"Give her time. This is such news for one so small."

"Headmaster, I've managed to chase all those who have held some significance in my life away. Look past this false hope you see in me, for I am nothing. Your ignorance is no longer needed." He sneered, shaking his hand off of his shoulder.

Dumbledore curved his chapped, pink lips. "Perhaps it is not me who is ignorant, dear Severus. For it is you who can not see all the worth your soul is, and you haven't, nor will you ever, chase me away. I would assume it is also genetic, due to the fact she is ignorant as to the wonderful man she has as a father, pretending you are not him."

Severus stared into the twinkling eyes of the man in front of him, sending a thank you through his bleak spheres. While this was not enough for most people to understand, it was enough for Albus, and his smile grew.

"Come Severus, to my office. I received a new box of lemon drops; these ones change the color of your tongue! We will discuss this over a piping cup of tea, what do you say? I'll speak with her within the coming days, for I feel she will be lashing out in one way or another, we both know she is in tune with her mother as much as she is with you."

Severus said nothing as Albus towed him along to his office.

Shawna's POV

She sniffled angrily, tears rolling down her cheeks. Muttering the password, the door to her common room opened. A dim fire's flame crackled as a few students who suffered from a case of insomnia conversed quietly. She didn't meet eye contact with any of them, though few had noticed she had entered.

Loosening her tie as she climbed the stair case, she entered into her bedroom as her roommates snored sound asleep. Throwing it under her bed, she didn't bother taking off her cloak. She pulled her potions book out from underneath her pillow, planning on indulging herself in the words she had memorized by now.

Unfortunately, his face, Snape's face, echoed in her mind with each word. She too, threw it to rest by her silver and green tie. She crossed her legs, resting her elbows on her knees, propping her head up. Her fingers clenched wads of hair as she let the tears fall silently.

Was it true? Was he her father, or was this all a lie? There had to be some reason for his lie, she was determined to find one. Though she could not figure any rational reason as to why a man she scarcely knew would say she was her father, she knew there was. Was this her being stubborn, irrational? She didn't know, nor did she care. She was enraged, confused, sorrowful. She wanted to immerse herself in the covers of her blankets as if it were some sort of makeshift cave, never to emerge.

She sat like this for what she felt like was hours, though in reality it was a very sleepy half an hour. She found her irate behavior faded into exhaustion, she would rest her eyes for one moment, and she would continue to search for the reasons behind his lie. Her eye lids became heavy, and her yawn became the tune for drifting off into sleep.

"He'll be sorry he lied to me. Prepare yourself for the worst student ever." She thought, and with that, she slept.

And with that, I close the chapter. The story is not over, though it might seem like that, but I promise I have a few more chapters! I hope you enjoyed the chapter, I know I enjoyed writing it! (:


	12. Chapter 12: Rebellious Misfit

Hey everyone, here's an update for the story. I don't have too much to say, so I hope you enjoy the chapter!

Snape's POV

After conversing with Dumbledore hours upon hours, Snape decided it was in his best interest to retire to his dormitories for the remaining few hours of the night. While Albus had usually done a splendid job with quieting the raging seas in Severus's heart, there was little to none he could do for the dreadful anguish Severus felt wafting through each pulsing vein. He felt nothing shy of a failure for a father, and nothing more than remnants of the Earth's dust. More and more his conscious murmured disparaging facts about his life, how every soul to have come in contact with his foul being hated him.

Yes, there was Albus, there would always be dear Albus. Lily, too, at one point cared deeply for his doomed spirit. Perhaps what protruded most in his mind was the girl's mother, and her inimitable, unconditional love for him. However, all of this meant absolutely nothing to Severus, for the one thing good he brought to this world hated his bones. That void she dug solely on her own was too vast to be filled with anything. Not his pointless potions, nor his dark arts, nothing. Nothing would ever serve as a substitute for the love he wished that little girl had for him.

He wanted to see her smile, at him. He wanted to make her laugh, to hold her when she cried, to stand guardian over her when she needed him. He wanted to be a _father, _because that was what he _was. _He felt as though his right to that was being stripped from his palms slowly, and there was little he was able to do. As he laid there in bed with the clock slowly ticking away his life, he realized many parents must feel the same when their children stray from them, and even create walls of angst directed towards those who brought them into this world.

Back and forth, the blame shifted from Shawna to him. He had come to a solid point she was being rather incredulous, but at the same time, Severus was expecting far too much. He hadn't even had so much as decent conversation with the girl that had not ended in complete and utter disaster, yet he loved her. That was what parents did, he presumed. Loved unconditionally, without reason. This was illogical in every manner, yet nothing in the world could stop the warmth glowing in his chest when he looked, or thought of her. Yet he would never be able to feel the light at its full capacity, and all of its radiance, because of the walls between them. He was doomed to watch her from a distance until she realized he was her father, and she was willing to understand him as a person.

While Severus made sense of this rut, he still felt awful. He wanted her now, he was impatient. He had waited eleven years to hold her in his arms, and he didn't want to wait longer. The fact that he might never be able to do this frightened him; it frightened a man that before that period in time was scared of nothing. She was his weakness, when he thought he had none. He was tender with her, upon thinking of her. This was love, in its every possible manner. He buried himself in his feathered pillow in hopes life would return to where they knew nothing of each other, it was simple then.

But when had anything been simple for him, or her?

Shawna's POV

Shawna grumbled unintelligibly as she rose from her bed in the morning. She could feel her brows furrowed in anger from the previous night. Still, she had never felt such a throbbing hate as she had. It still persisted to flow endlessly through her small figure as it had last night. She didn't understand Snape, as his sick humor. To say he was her father, her _father, _a man she had wanted to know her entire life, it was disgusting to her. She sneered at the thought as she began dressing for the day.

She threw on her robes violently, mumbling unintelligible words to herself, the kind of words one would never hear in a chapel. She didn't bother doing anything with her hair, she just grabbed her books for the morning classes and left her dormitory, leaving her roommates in confusion. She clutched the tattered potions book with rage in her fingertips; her knuckles were stone white as she attempted to break the cover. She huffed through her nose as if she were an angry dog and stomped down the hall to the common room.

Students bustling about came into view, yet Shawna had shown no care whatsoever. Ryder leaned coolly against a couch chattering with a few friends. It took one look for him to realize she was upset. He dismissed himself from the group and hustled over to her side. She continued to storm towards the exit; he struggled to match her lengthy strides though he was taller than she was.

"What happened? Someone in your dormitories?" He questioned in a concerned tone, looking down at her with a reflective gaze.

"Snape," She scoffed, raising her hands exaggerative.

Ryder was quiet for a few moments, he nibbled on his lip tentatively. Ryder knew much more about Snape, how he truly was her father, yet she had no idea of that talk, nor how it progressed.

"What did he do?" He asked, though he knew exactly why she was angry.

"He said he was my father, I mean, this is ridiculous. It's wrong in every manner of the word, the man should be prepared for what he has messed with. If he expects this to go unchallenged…" her voice carried off, the hate seethed off her tongue.

Ryder wanted so badly to tell her it was true; Snape was her father. But to deny Snape that right was an unspeakable act of disrespect. It was ironic, a boy such as Ryder, who enjoyed making mischief, was showing respect towards a man. It was truly the first time he had, but he wasn't sure if that respect was mainly for Shawna's best interests, or something he truly felt. He wanted Shawna to feel a parent's love, only a love Snape could give, if he was capable of doing so. He wasn't sure how to respond to Shawna, this predicament he was in was a difficult one indeed.

"Acting like me in class won't do much, you know. You'll only find yourself scrubbing cauldrons," He sighed.

She rolled her eyes and said nothing, and the two continued on towards the great hall.

Shawna planned ways to reinvent herself. As of now, she would disrupt class; disrespect the teacher, disregard assignments, whatever it took to lash out. She wanted to be reckless, to show the world she was angry. She wanted her voice to be heard, to stand as a bright streak on a black canvas. No longer would she follow the rules, no longer would she strive to be a model student. She wanted to hurt Snape in some way, though how this would hurt him, she didn't know. But this moment of change was so spontaneous, she didn't care. Perhaps those words describe this situation in its entirety the best: she didn't care.

Anger drives so many to a state of mind that is irrational, and Shawna knew this. She knew this was her state of mind, but she simply did not care, Snape was going to regret everything he had done. He reminded her of the fact she was alone in life, that her real parents were far off sight. He reminded her she was nothing more than a misfit.

Snape's POV

Snape's cloak billowed out behind him as he made his way into his classroom, full of Slytherins and Gryffindors…and her. His daughter. He cloaked the pain on his face as he always had, but he also cloaked his love for her. No one could know how vulnerable he was when she was here. No one could know Snape was capable of feeling love, nor could they know he was a father, especially the father of one who hated him. He quickly masqueraded his feelings, and strutted to his desk where he stood with absolute poise. His grace struck fear into the hearts of those children, except for one girl who sat defiantly in the back.

Her feet balanced gently on the table; her arms were folded over her chest as she stared grimly at him. He glared back; he would not be challenged in his own classroom, not even by Shawna. Once she realized Snape stared back, she smiled slightly, and raised her eye brows. She was antagonizing him, waiting for a response. Snape stared deeply into her eyes, as if no one else were there. He could see everything clearly. Walls she had built were fading, and he was aloud in for one moment.

She was hurt, and furious, with him. He remembered the hate he still lugged around directed towards his own father. It was in its own way identical. She felt alone, and Snape had reminded her of that. He reminded her she was in a sense, parentless. She felt unloved, and she was angry at Snape because all those feelings she had stored away were released at once in a tidal wave of emotion.

Oh, if she only knew how much he loved her, how adored she truly was. Snape could only dream of what it would be like to love her fully, if he ever had the chance to know her, to discover all her little quirks. He quickly stored this dream in his mind for another time, and had to play the role of the professor.

"Miss Zemphoria, please remove your feet off the desk, or I shall do it for you," He spit, waiting for her response.

"Mr. Snape, no," She sniped, followed by laughter from other students as she mimicked his voice.

"Detention with me this afternoon, I will not tolerate this in my own classroom," Snape began to raise his voice, drifting towards her desk.  
"Scrubbing cauldrons will be my pleasure, Snapey," She laughed along with the other students.

"I will not hesitate to single handedly throw you from my classroom if you continue to prove yourself a nuisance," Snape threatened, swiping her feet off the desk.

"Of course, whatever you say," She scoffed, waving him off.

"You've earned yourself a week of detentions," Snape muttered, returning to his position at the front of the room.

"What an honor, I get to be in your presence. Thank you for this wonderful gift sir," she stated sarcastically, once more the class erupted into a fit of giggles.

Snape ignored it, and continued onwards with his lesson. He wouldn't let her bother him, nor would he let her disrupt his teaching. Continuously with every word he said she would make some remark, whether it was directed as an insult towards him or something absolutely irrelevant she muttered to her friend, it was disturbing to him. That polite little girl that was his was now gone, and replaced with this new alter ego. He understood why, but it still annoyed him.

Her remarks persisted for a few days, some worse than others. He kept awarding her detentions, ones she refused to attend. She was becoming a handful in all of her classes, not just Snape's. Whatever message she was attempting to send, it was being delivered. Talk through the professors at meal times usually revolved around her or some ridiculous thing that had occurred in the class. She was not only refusing to behave and attend detentions in Snape's class, but as well as other professors. At certain points, she skipped class, or was thrown out of it for the day. He was beginning to worry she would earn herself a train ticket home.

Her stared down at her one morning during breakfast. She had made many new friends because of her rebellious humor others found so appealing. Every now and then she would glance back, and he would revolve his eyes back to the other teachers and students in the room. In a few minutes they would return to class, and the same game she was playing would continue.

And that it did. The remarks flowed from her mouth endlessly, worse than they had any day prior to this. Snape ignored it, all of it. The laughing of the students, the pain he was feeling as her insults hit him dead on. He would fire some back every now and then, pointlessly giving her detentions. Yelling at her was something he was incapable of, he had never yelled at any girl student, maybe insulted, but never yelled. Her especially he could not yell at, he didn't have the power to.

"Ten points from Slytherin," He hollered without thinking.

She had unwound him, he no longer thought of the best way to handle a certain situation. That poise he prided himself on having had left.

"Oh that makes sense; let's take away points from your own house. You think I'm a dunderhead," She rolled her eyes.

"Miss Zemphoria," A gentle, aged voice fluttered into the room.

Everyone directed their attention to the doorway where the Headmaster stood.

His graceful figure drifted there, and all eyes took in his presence. The room grew quiet as he was looked over. His long, scruffed beard drizzled down his robes, contrasting against the golden magnificent palette. His hands were folded together neatly in front of his body. Long sleeves covered the arms that were firm in place. His twinkling eyes were perfectly fitted under the half moon glasses. Those peering, all seeing eyes were fixed right on Shawna, in a gaze that could not be broken.

"I would like to have a word with you in my office," He motioned for her to come.

"Headmaster, that is not necessary-" Snape began, only to be cut off by Dumbledore's uplifted hand.

"Severus, I would like a word with her, this is all I ask. Continue on with you lesson, I have my own I would like to teach the child," his soft voice was tender, full of care. His eyes never drifted from Shawna.

Shawna's POV

His eyes seemed to pull Shawna in, and the phase of anger she had placed herself in began to fade. She realized how much trouble she had waded into, and she had a feeling she was truly going to be expelled. Yet she felt completely, utterly calm. She rose from her seat, and quietly followed Dumbledore out into the hall.

"Turn to page 394," She heard Snape echo to a now subservient class.

Reality seemed to become clearer and clearer; all the remarks she had made were flooding into her mind. How could she have been so stupid! She shook her head to herself and followed Dumbledore through the long, narrowing dungeons. They had taken multiple turns, only to keep running into dead ends.

"Oh bother, I always get lost down here. Take my hand, we'll apparate," he stated gently.

His wrinkled, outstretched palm emerged from his sleeve. Shawna hesitantly took it, and in an instant, they were in Dumbledore's office.

She shook her head and blinked her eyes a few time, she found herself in a bit of disarray after that. After coming to her senses, she realized she was here, in the Headmaster's office. Once more she found herself in this situation, and the belief she was getting out of it was slim to none.


End file.
